Teaser [Shot of Cats in Victory Poses] Speedy: On the Next... GB [Flying above them]: PIZZA CATS! [Slashes the screen diagonally. Screen falls into two pieces revealing a shot of Little Tokyo on a moonlit night.] Narrator: As the full moon rises over Little Tokyo, the Pizza Cats are called to investigate a series of strange disappearances in the city's residential area. [Shot of the Cats {sans Guido} and GB on the streets, ready to battle.] Speedy: All right, guys. Be ready for anything! [Out of the darkness a hoard of mindless zombies attack!] Narrator: But, our heroes get more than they bargained for when it is discovered that a mysterious plague is transforming the citizens into mindless zombies! Furthermore, the zombies are under the control of a dangerous new villain, who has trapped the city in an eternal night and kidnapped Polly! [The zombies overpower the cats and drag Polly away. Naturally, Polly is kicking and screaming the whole time.] Narrator: Who is this mystery villain, and how has he put the entire town under his spell? Can the Pizza Cats find his hideout in time to prevent Polly from becoming his Mistress of the Night? All the answers are here in Night of the Living Pizzas Episode #5 of The New Adventures of the Samurai Pizza Cats! Episode 5: Night of the Living Pizzas Written By Guido Cerviche [Open with an overhead shot of Little Tokyo. It's a dark moonlit night.] Narrator: A seemingly peaceful night in Little Tokyo. Much like every other night something evil occurs. Thus far all has been quiet. But one never knows when trouble will come crashing down like a ton of bricks. [Cut to inside the Pizza Parlor. Speedy slips on the newly waxed floor.] Speedy [sliding across the room] (screaming in terror): AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! [crashes into the supply closet.] Polly (concerned): Speedy! Guido (same): Are you ok? Speedy [dazed and covered in flour, tomato sauce, pepperoni, and Parmesan cheese]: Uhhh... GB: AH! It's a monster! [hits Speedy with a broom, and is promptly bonked by Polly's frying pan.] Polly: You idiot! He's just covered with supplies. Francine: Just great. Speedy, this is coming out of your salary! Guido: Come on, bud. Say something. Speedy [wiping the mess from his face]: This just hasn't been a good day. Polly [giggles mischievously]: Silly, it's Friday the 13th! You're not supposed to have a good day. [Speedy moans and falls back into the mess. More ingredients topple on him.] GB: Well, look's like that's the last of the ingredients. Francine [fuming]: Ooooh! Speedy, this is your fault. Go restock our supplies. Speedy: Aw, give me a break Fran! Francine [remaining firm]: The longer we wait, the more customers we lose. [head gets really big as she shouts in anger] NOW, MOVE IT! [In an instant, Speedy is miraculously clean and is out the door. Cut to the Market Place.] Speedy [walking up and down the market place]: Hmm, let's see... [finally pauses at a rather strange stand.] What's this? Mocking Bird Lane wholesale food vendor? [reads fine print] A distributor of Orlock Foods... [shrugs] Well, it's cheap anyway. Francine will like that. [taps the counter] Oh, vendor! [A strange man in a black robe appears. His face cannot be seen, there is simply a void beneath the hood. He vaguely resembles the Grim Reaper.] Vendor [in a ghostly, echoing voice]: Yesss? Speedy: Hi, may I have six crates of tomatoes, four crates of pepperoni, two boxes each of mozzarella and Parmesan cheese, and two- no three large bags of flour? Oh, and a couple bulbs of garlic too. Vendor (uneasy): Uh, we do not carry... garlic. Speedy: Oh, well I guess we have enough at home. All right, I'll just take the rest of the stuff. How much will that be? Vendor: Don't be stupid. It's on the house. Speedy: Really? Thanks a mil! Vendor: Oh, no. Thank you. [laughs maniacally] Speedy [walking back towards the parlor]: What a nice guy! Narrator (sarcastically): Oh, yes. We must remember to invite him to our next tea party. [Cut to Fat Bunny's Lair.] Speaking of sinister characters, let's see if we can catch a glimpse of what our resident criminal genius has concocted for this episode. FB [standing by his window]: [There is a knock at the door.] Come in. Elle Durly: Don Costanza? Our associate just called. The package has been delivered. FB: Excellent. [turns his attention back to Little Tokyo] [Cut back to the Pizza Parlor. Speedy walks in with arms full of groceries. The pile is so big, his head cannot be seen.] Francine: Wow! Maybe I ought to send you out for supplies more often! Polly: Went a little overboard didn't you Speedy? [whispers] Better not tell Francine how much you spent. Speedy [setting bags down on the counter]: Actually this stuff was free! Guido [shocked}: What? You're kidding! Speedy: No, I'm dead serious. Francine [hugs Speedy and gives him a kiss]: Did I ever tell you how much I love you? Speedy [embarrassed]: Eh heh. Polly [glares at Fran momentarily, then talks to Speedy.] (concerned): Are you sure this stuff's ok, Speedy? Speedy: There wasn't anything suspicious about it. Narrator [attempting to cover his words with a cough]: Bull apples! Polly: Ok, it just seems to good to be true... GB [rolling his eyes, to the Narrator]: Bull apples? Narrator: Hey, don't forget: People are gonna read this thing! Francine [getting out supplies]: Well, the late night dinner crowd will be here soon. Let's get cooking! [Cue clips of the gang making Pizzas as customers come in. Eventually...] Speedy [setting pizza down on table]: Here you go, guys! Customer 1: Thanks. [to customer 2 as Speedy walks away] Mmmm, smells good. Customer 2: Yeah, I can't wait to dig in. Except I gotta go use the restroom first. Customer 1: Me too. Let's hurry up, I'm hungry. [The two customers leave the table temporarily. Zoom in on the pizza, playing soft ominous music. Cue loud ominous organ chord as two slices of pepperoni open like eyelids to reveal two demonic yellowish eyes with solid red irises {no pupils}. The demonic pizza gurgles menacingly. Cut to a dark castle on the outskirts of town. The robed figure that was the vendor pulls back his hood. We can see from his head and face that he is a bat. He looks out towards Little Tokyo.] Bat: Costanza, you were a fool to trust me. [chuckles] Oh, the delicious irony. The Samurai Pizza Cats, the defenders of Little Tokyo, are serving the town to me on a silver platter. Soon Little Tokyo will be the center of my kingdom. Bwahahaha! Narrator: What is this? Has yet another villain entered the series? Well, you didn't think that Fat Bunny and Elliot could pull off with this whole demonic pizza scheme on their own, did you? [Cut back to the parlor] Anyway, back at the parlor business is booming. Which for once is not a good thing. [Carla walks into the busy restaurant. Careful observers will note she is wearing the engagement ring GB gave her after the last episode.] GB: Carla! How ya doing babe? Carla [giving GB a peck on the cheek {no pun intended}]: Absolutely great, Birdie. Speedy: Hey, Carla! Want a pizza? Carla: No thanks Speedy, just had some leftover birdseed. I'll take a Diet Coke though. Speedy: One diet coke coming up! Guido [over at a table]: Can I get you anything else si- [He does a double take. For an instant the man's face looks gray, gaunt and desiccated with eyes that are completely white. Like a zombie in the early stages of decay. When Guido looks back, the man appears to be normal, although his face is flat and emotionless.] Man (monotone): Is something wrong, Mr. Anchovy? Guido (unnerved): No, not at all. Man (monotone): Good. Here is the money, plus a tip. I must go now; there is much to do. [The man rises and shuffles slowly and listlessly out the door. Guido looks around nervously, and notices nothing else unusual. He shakes his head and walks quickly to the counter. He walks behind it, grabs a can of Budweiser out of the mini-fridge, and quaffs it in a long single gulp.] GB (surprised): Chug-a-lug-a-lug! Polly (same) [concerned]: You ok, Guido? You almost never drink alcohol. Guido: Yeah, I just need to lay back. I've been working so hard I'm hallucinating. Speedy: Hallucinating? Like what. Guido [laughs nervously]: For a moment, my customer looked like a zombie. Francine: A zombie? You HAVE been working too hard. Why don't you go to bed or something. Carla can fill in for you, right Carla? Carla: Yeah, no problem. Go get some rest Guido. [Guido is about to respond, when the phone rings. Francine picks it up and Big Al's face appears on the video monitor.] All [in unison]: What's up Big Al? Big Al: We've had some reports of some strange occurrences over in the residential area of town. There have been reports of strange creatures roaming the streets, coupled with several strange kidnappings and disappearances. Francine: That IS strange. Speedy: I guess you were right about Friday the 13th, Polly. Big Al: These occurrences aren't as blatantly destructive as the robots you're used to handling, but they are just as unsettling. I'd like you to go investigate, and put a stop to these incidents. I'm sending the exact co-ordinates to your computer right now. Speedy: Don't worry, we'll get right on it. Carla [over at the computer]: The disturbances are occurring mainly in the one block radius from the corner of 1st and Nekohime. Guido [alarmed] (alarmed): Shoot! That's where Lucille lives! We gotta get going! Speedy: GB, you know the drill. Scout out the area and meet us there. GB: Got it! [starts out] Carla: Oh, Birdie? GB [stops and turns to Carla]: Yes, hon? Carla [runs up to him and kisses him long and deep]: Be careful. GB [slightly breathless]: Don't worry. [walks to the door and flies out. The cats are touched by the tender moment.] Narrator: I think I'm gonna quit at the end of this season. This writer puts way too much mush in his stuff. Everyone [in unison]: AH, PUT A SOCK IN IT! Narrator [muttering]: He uses that phrase too much too. [normally] Excuse me, but unless you guys want Lucille and her family to get snatched you better get going. Guido: He's right! Let's move guys! [Cue the launch sequence.] Carla [voice over the loudspeaker]: People of Little Tokyo, don't fear the night. The Samurai Pizza Cats will make it all right. When evil stalks the streets, who ya gonna call? Shout Samurai Pizza Cats, one and all! Ka-BOOM! [Carla fires off the cats, and they soar through the air towards Lucille's house.] Guido: I don't know guys, I have a bad feeling about this. Speedy: You're probably still a little spooked from that hallucination. Polly [staring ahead, narrowly and tiredly, her ears down] (sounding weary): Either that, or he saw the wall ahead of us. Francine [same] (same): Aw, damn. Speedy & Guido [same, in unison] (same): You said it. [They barely manage to get out a scream of anticipated pain before they collide. Afterwards, they quickly slump to the ground, dazed and in pain.] GB [wincing]: THAT looks painful. Speedy [groaning]: It's even MORE painful than it looks. GB [wincing harder]: Oooh... [After a few seconds, the cats are up on their feet.] Francine: What's the scoop, GB? GB: The perimeter's quiet. A little too quiet... Speedy: Guido, we're right outside Lucille's house. You go in and make sure she, Wally and Josie are ok. Guido: You don't need to tell me twice, Speedy. [walks towards the front door of Lucille's house.] Speedy: Everyone else, case the street. And stay on your toes. [GB, Francine, and Polly start tiptoeing away.] Speedy [annoyed, but not shouting]: Not literally! [hears a noise in the shadows] Huh? [There is some more rustling, like something shuffling their feet. Speedy, Polly, GB, and Francine freeze and rest their hands on their swords, ready to fight if necessary. Cut to Guido, now inside the Omitsu home. It's very quiet, again almost too quiet. Guido searches the rooms, and finds no one. He comes to the bedrooms and finds Lucille and her siblings safe and asleep. He walks over and kneels beside Lucille's bed.] Guido: [sighs] [He bends forward and kisses her on the forehead. Suddenly, Lucille's hand grabs a large mallet from under her pillow and quickly brings it down on Guido's head. Guido's head flattens slightly and his eyes bulge out, before falling to the ground.] Lucille (angry): TAKE THAT! Josie [startled awake]: What's going on? Lucille: Some pervert snuck into our house. I'm lucky I got him. Wally [also startled awake]: Good for you Lucille! Who is it? [With Wally and Josie's help, Lucille rolls Guido on his back.] Josie [confused]: Huh? Lucille [embarrassed and ashamed] (shocked): Oh, Guido! Guido [severely dazed] (dreamily): Polly, I didn't know you cared. Don't worry, I'm ok... [falls unconscious] Wally: Well, you were right Lucille. It WAS some pervert. Josie: Hold on, I'll get some ice water. [Josie walks into the kitchen and returns with a bucket of ice water, which she dumps on Guido's head.] Guido [jumping 10 ft in the air] (shocked): YEEOW THAT'S COLD! Lucille [falling into his arms, burying her face in his chest]: Oh Guido, I'm so sorry. Guido [slightly surprised]: Uh... Don't worry. [hugging her] I'm sorry, I should've let you sleep. Wally: Shh! [hearing something] What's that? [Everyone else pauses and listens. The same sort of scraping that was heard outside is being heard in the house. Guido gets ready to draw his sword. Return to outside] Speedy: All right, guys. Be ready for anything! [The thing or things shuffle closer. Finally, they enter the light. It's a hoard of zombies, about ten in number, similar in appearance to the one Guido saw earlier.] Zombie 1 [speaking with an echo, as though many voices are speaking through him]: Mortals prepare to die. We'll swallow your souls. You will join us. Resistance is futile. GB: Gee, where have I heard that before? [The zombies lung at them with surprising speed. Our heroes barely manage to scatter in time.] Polly [dodging a zombie's attacks]: Whoa, they move pretty well for dead guys. Francine [same]: I don't think they're dead, Polly. I think they're just possessed. Speedy [same]: Since when did you become such an expert in the occult- [gets flattened by a zombie's fist] Oof! Polly: SPEEDY! Speedy [back on his feet]: Don't worry Polly, nothing I can't handle. [leaps in the air] Stars of Ginzu, HYAH! [tosses his Ginzu Stars. They land around the zombie and release their energy. There is a rather bright explosion.] GB [flying overhead, winces]: Oooh. First hand experience: That HURTS! [The explosion dies down. The zombie lies unconscious on the ground.] Speedy: Great. One down, nine to go. This is encouraging. GB [battling what appears to be a crow zombie]: Hey, here's a little trick I just picked up. Let me know what you think. [distances himself and cocks his sword arm back] SONIC SLASH! [GB swings his arm forward with amazing speed. The blade slices through the air creating a wave of sonic energy. The wave resembles the arc of a blade as it speeds towards its target. Blood spurts as the sonic energy slams into the zombie crow, opening a fresh wound as if the sword itself had struck its flesh. Stunned, the crow falls to the earth. GB blows on his sword, which is smoking slightly.] Make that two down. [Cut back to Guido.] Guido: Everybody stand back. [The Omitsus willingly oblige. A pretty girl, feline with green eyes and blue hair, steps out of the shadows. Guido almost lets his guard down. The girl then transforms into a zombie, which startles Guido. He quickly regains his composure.] Zombie [w/ echo, like the other]: YOUR SOULS ARE OURS! Guido [imitating Ash from Army of Darkness]: Come get some! [The zombie roars and charges at him. Guido quickly dodges and parries the forceful blows. The zombie and Guido battle for several minutes, attacking and counterattacking each other. Finally, Guido counters a blow from the zombie with his sunspot umbrella. The zombie screams and falls to the ground. A ghostly mist rises from the body and the zombie transforms back into the pretty girl.] Guido: I think she's ok now. [pauses and checks her pulse] Her pulse is weak. [He lifts her on to the bed.] Get her some water. [Wally walks into the kitchen. Loud crashes are heard outside.] Josie (scared): What was that? Guido: I'll bet the rest of the zombies met up with Speedy and the others. [to Lucille] Watch over her. I'm gonna help them. Lucille: Be careful! [Cut back outside. The fight is not going great. Although Speedy and the others are holding their own, the zombies are beginning to out last them.] Narrator: Hurry up, Guido! This is fanfic. We don't have the luxury of commercial breaks! Zombie [grabbing Speedy by the neck]: Get up. It's time to die! [The zombie's arm is suddenly singed by a fiery blast. Camera on a silhouette of Guido, holding his umbrella over his face, as per his intro pose.] Zombie: The Light Bearer! He has emerged! Run! [The rest of the zombies turn and flee. The cats look stunned at Guido.] Speedy: Light Bearer? Guido: It has something to do with the Sunspot. I got one of them with it inside, and she returned to normal. GB: That might be useful. Polly: Well, at least we know what's been causing those weird disturbances. Francine: We should get Lucille and her family back to the parlor. It isn't safe here anymore. Guido: What about the girl? We can't just leave her here. Speedy: You pig, you have Lucille! Guido: Will you shut up? I'm serious. Look, she's unconscious in there. I don't want to just leave her with out paying the exorcist bill. Polly: What do you mean, the exorcist bill? Guido: She's gonna get repossessed. [The rest of the gang instantly falls down upon hearing this.] GB: For a joke like that, we should leave both of you here. Speedy: Forget it GB. That's a recipe for disaster. Guido get Wally, Lucille, and Josie. Polly, think you can handle sleeping beauty? Polly: No prob, Speedy. [Guido and Polly go inside the house. Polly exits first, carrying the girl. The Omitsus exit next, followed by Guido. The group heads back to the parlor. Upon arriving, Polly sets the girl down in her bedroom.] Polly [to Lucille, Wally and Josie]: Watch over her until she wakes up, ok? [They nod] Francine (slightly upset): Hey, what happened Carla? This place was jumping when we left. [no reply] Carla? [looks around, confused. Looks in several odd places, including under tables, under the counter, and under salt & pepper shakers.] Where is she? GB [worried]: Something's wrong. She wouldn't just disappear like this. [shouting] CARLA! Carla [lying on the ground, scrapped up]: Uhhh... GB [frantic]: CARLA! Are you ok? Polly [checking her forehead]: She's burning up! Get her on a bed. [Preparing another makeshift bed from a booth, they set Carla down in it.] GB [distraught]: Please be ok... Guido: I don't understand it. What's causing these zombie? Why did they attack here? Speedy [sitting down at a table]: You saw one of your customers as a zombie, Guido. They must have gotten possessed here. Francine: But how? It doesn't make any sense, this parlor isn't haunted or anything. Speedy: How would you know Francine? And while we're on the subject, how do you know so much about the occult, anyway? Francine: One of my ancestors was Wiccan. Guido (surprised): What? Speedy & GB (same): Huh? Francine: Oh, don't be so shocked. After all, [glances at Polly] there's a little bit of witch in all us girls. [the two of them share a giggle. Speedy rolls his eyes] Speedy [lifting a slice of cold pizza to his mouth]: Well, that's one mystery solved. [Is about to take a bite, but hears a strange gurgling noise. Looks down at the slice and notices it blinks at him. He screams, and drops the slice.] AHHH!!!!!!!! Polly: Speedy, what's wrong? [At that moment, Carla rises up, zombified. Guido instantly responds with a blast from the sunspot. Carla goes down.] GB [enraged] (enraged): YOU BASTARD! WHY THE **CENSORED** DID YOU DO THAT? Guido: Relax, she'll be ok. The sunspot exorcises the demon, remember? [Pause as tempers cool.] Speedy: Wow, nice shot Guid- [shouts in panic as the pizza bites his arm, seemly swallowing it while it's attached to his body. Speedy runs back and forth, screaming quickly.] GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!!!!!!! [Speedy shakes the pizza off his arm, and it starts chasing after him, burbling crude words.] Pizza: eat, eat eat. food, want, now. yummy, cat, tasty. Speedy: HELP ME! Guido (annoyed): Will you calm down? [Guido Sunspot blasts the pizza into oblivion. He stands over it watching it smolder.] Well, I guess we know why the zombies are turning up. Francine (sarcastic): Perfect. This is really gonna help business. Polly: So what do we do now? Francine: Well, I suppose we ought to find out whose controlling these demons and try to stop him. GB [recovered]: More Wiccan insight, Francine? Francine: No, just good old-fashioned previewing the script. Wally [peaking his head out] Hey guys? The girl is awake, and she wants to talk to Guido. [Guido walks into the room. The camera follows him. Just before the door closes, we hear Francine yelling at Speedy.] Francine (faintly in the distance): SPEEDY, YOU MORON, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BOUGHT POSSESSED SUPPLIES- [blocked out as Guido closes the door.] Girl (shyly): Are you the one who saved me? Guido (sitting down on a chair across from her): I guess you could say that. Girl: Thank you! I don't know how to repay you. Guido: You can start by telling me your name. Girl (softly): Jenny. My name is Jenny. Guido: Nice to meet you, Jenny. I'm Guido. Guido Anchovy. Jenny: I just can't thank you enough, Guido. You don't know how horrible it was. Guido: How did you get possessed? I didn't see you at the parlor, earlier. [blushing slightly] And, I think I would've remembered someone like you. Lucille (annoyed): Guido! Guido: **clears his throat** [to Jenny] Do you want anything? Water? Coke? Sprite? Fruit punch? Jenny [thinks for a moment]: A coke would be nice. Guido: Lucille, could you get her a can of coke, please? [Lucille exits, muttering.] Guido: Now then, what happened? Jenny: Those creatures dragged me back to this castle. That's where I was turned. Guido: Do you remember where it is? Jenny (getting frightened): Yes, but I don't want to go back there! Please don't make me go! Guido (reassuring): Calm down. I'd never make you do something like that. But, [pauses] do you think you could point it out on a map? Jenny [trying to calm down]: I- I think so. L- let me think... [Guido pulls out a map and a pen. Jenny takes the pen, thinks for a moment, and then with a trembling hand, draws a circle around an area on the other side of the island. Lucille enters with the soda can.] Lucille (slightly upset): I think you better get out there Guido. The others are fighting again, and you know how I hate to see people fighting. Guido [slightly intimidated] (quickly): Sure, Lucille! [Steps outside, to see the others engaged in a full blown brawl. As he moves to separate them, Jenny pokes her head out the door.] Jenny: Hello? Polly [forgetting she has Speedy's neck in her grasp]: Oh, hi. Are you ok? Jenny: Yes. My name is Jenny. I want to thank you for helping me. Polly [tossing Speedy aside]: You're quite welcome. Let me introduce us. [smiles deviously] I'm sure you're already quite familiar with Guido. [normally] My name is Polly, this is GB and Francine [gestures to them] and my boyfriend over there with the crushed windpipe is Speedy. [Speedy, still recovering from being strangled by Polly, wheezes hello.] Jenny [shyly]: Nice to meet you. So, um, what are you going to do about these things? Francine: Well, the first thing we gotta do is track down the sorcerer controlling them. Guido [holding up the map]: Done. Jenny was one of the people these things kidnapped. She pointed out the castle she was taken to on this map. Speedy [recovered]: Great! Let's move! GB: I'm gonna stay here and watch over Carla. Guido: I don't know GB. You might need some help if those zombies come back. Francine [getting an idea]: I've got it! [calls up Meowzma and Spritz.] Hey guys, think you can come back up GB? Carla got hurt, so he wants to stay here and make sure she's ok. Spritz: You got it! Meowzma: We'll be right there! Francine [grateful]: Thanks! We're gonna go search for this sorcerer. Bye! Speedy: Well that's that. Come on, guys! Narrator [cut to the castle]: And so our heroes set off to the castle that Jenny marked for them on the map. [The pizza cats walk towards it. Cut to crystal ball view of scene] But unknown to them, the chiropteran sorcerer they sought lay in waiting , like a spider watching its prey come closer to the web. Bat: Come closer my little Pizza Cats. I eagerly await your arrival. Imp [peeking in his room]: Sir Orlock? You're on in thirty seconds! Sir Orlock: Excellent. I'll be right there. [Cut back outside.] Francine [looking at the map, as they walk up]: Well, this must be it. Speedy [noticing the gothic atmosphere]: Charming place, eh? [Drifting around the castle are a number of Ghastlys, Haunters, and Gengars.] Haunter: Haunter! Speedy [noting the pokemon with distaste]: Yuck. Creepy things. I hate anime crossovers. Polly: Aw, come on Speedy. I think they're fun! I've always wanted to get a part on Sorcerer Hunters. Francine: How appropriate. Speedy: Be serious, Polly. Why would you want to work with a pervert like Carrot Glase? Guido: Yeah, that guy's worse than me! Francine: What do you mean? How is he worse? Speedy: Let me put it this way. When Guido sees a pretty girl, he's swimming in a see of his own hormones. When Carrot sees a pretty girl, he drowns. Guido (sarcastic): Well put, Speedy. Polly [sly grin]: So Guido does Jenny make you swim? [In response Guido stiffens and falls backwards.] Francine [staring at the huge door]: Looks like we found the entrance. Speedy: Yeah, I'll say. So what do ya think guys? Should we knock? Or, just let ourselves in? [As if responding, the heavy door creaks wide open.] Polly: I guess the answer is choice C. [With that, the cats prepare to enter the castle. Although it appears old and crumbly on the outside, the interior is actually quite posh, although still quite spooky. The area is dimly lit, although purposefully. The architecture is gothic, and gargoyles perch near the tops of the walls and on the arches over the doorway. The walls are composed of gray granite, the floors black marble. Noise can be heard further in, the groans of the zombies strangely mixed with indecipherable chitchat. More ghost pokemon float around the atrium.] Ghastly: Gassss-tly! [A Haunter sneaks up behind Speedy, and starts making faces behind his back. Whenever Speedy speaks, it makes its face look like Speedy's and lip-synchs his words! Meanwhile, a Gengar crawls on the ground and ties Speedy's shoelaces together.] Speedy: What's going on in there? Guido: Almost sounds like a party! Polly: You dummy, zombies don't party! Speedy: How would you know? Francine: Well, we'll never find out if we just stand here. Speedy: Fran's right! Whatever it is, we gotta check it out. Maybe we'll find our sorcerer- [realizes something is behind him and turns around.] Haunter: HAUNTER!! [Speedy is startled and jumps into the air. He runs after it, but trips because of his shoelaces.] Speedy [groans]: I HATE those things. [He unties his laces, and redoes them. Then he, Polly, Guido and Francine walk into the ballroom. It does indeed seem as though a party is going on. There is a stage set up in the center of the room, perhaps for a band. It's empty now, and there's creepy organ music playing instead. The possessed people are chatting amongst themselves, laughing and shouting in those weird, echoing voices. Haunters and Gengars, wearing little waiter and waitress uniforms, float in between the tables serving food and beverages. If the people weren't so creepy looking and the waiters and waitresses weren't ghost pokemon, it would appear to be a normal party, or maybe a typical nightclub scene. As it is it looks surreal.] Francine: Well, this is curious! Guido: I told you guys it was a party. Imp [moments after the music stops]: Demons and Demonesses, let's all give a big severed hand for our all time favorite sorcerer and musician, the man who's responsible for bringing you here tonight! That's right, it's Mr. DAMIEN ORLOCK! [The imp steps out of the spotlight, which remains on an empty stage for a while. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a Haunter appears wearing wrap-around shades.] Haunter: HAUNTER! [summons a trumpet into his hands] YEAH! [The Haunter raises the trumpet to his lips, and begins the opening trumpet solo of Oingo Boingo's Dead Man's Party. After a while a Gengar fades into view, playing the guitar. Soon afterwards, other Haunters and Gengars appear playing the other instruments. Finally, just before the vocals, Damien Orlock floats down from the ceiling and lands on the stage.] Guido [impressed]: You know, regardless of what that guy has done to our town, you gotta admit he knows how to put on a show. Francine: The Haunter horns section is particularly talented. Speedy & Polly[moving with the beat]: Yeah... [While it's playing, the music seems to make the cats forget all about trying to take down Orlock. Eventually the song ends, and the demons cheer.] Damien: Thank you, thank you. I can't tell you how thrilled, and proud I am to have you all here tonight. Speedy [coming to his senses]: Huh? Hey guys, snap out of it! [Polly and the others woozily come out of the enchantment.] Damien: But hey, I can't take all the credit for bringing you here. I couldn't have done it with out the stars of our little show. Everyone, let's hear it for [spotlight on Speedy and the others] THE SAMURAI PIZZA CATS! Guido: Oh, damn. We're boned! Speedy: Run for it! Damien: GET THEM! [The cats manage to fight their way through the front door, and outside. The hoard of demons follows. Outside, several Ghastlys, Haunters, and Gengars are waiting. Trapped the cats are soon overpowered by the demons, who drag Polly away. Naturally, Polly is kicking and screaming all the way.] Speedy [in pain]: Polly! **groan** [collapses in mud] Damien [hovering over the cats]: I've got what I want. I care little what happens to you. [flies back to the castle] In a few hours it won't matter anyway! [Cut to Fat Bunny's hideout.] Elliot: Master! Sir Orlock has betrayed us! FB: WHAT!? ARE YOU SURE? [Suddenly several zombies break down the door and stagger into the room.] Elliot: Yeah, I'm pretty damn sure. [Cut to the Palace.] Vi: Damn it! 27 rings and they still haven't picked up the phone! Do they want me to starve? AL SEND THOSE PIZZA CATS TO PRISONER'S ISLAND! Big Al: [Suddenly the door breaks down, and a swarm of Demon People enter.] Vi: What is the meaning of this? AL, SEND THOSE ZOMBIES TO PRISONER'S ISLAND! Al Dente: Uh, I don't think that's gonna help, Princess! [Al & Vi both scream as the zombies close in. Cut back to the parlor. The entire Rescue Team is there now, fighting off zombies with GB. Wally is fighting to the best of his ability {which is surprisingly well}, and Lucille periodically blows her top at the demons. Carla {now fully recovered}, Josie and Jenny hide in the back, staying out of the conflict.] Narrator: This is just terrible. The entire town is being overrun by Damien Orlock's Demon People! Is no one safe from this-[sound of door breaking down] Hey, what is this?! No one is allowed back here while the show- Oh no. NO! NOOO! AUGH! [screams and grunts accompanied by scratching, tearing, and crunching sounds.] GB: **CENSORED** They got the narrator! Lucille: Who cares! What about us? [terrified] I'M ALMOST OUT OF MISSLES! [blows her top, taking out a few more zombies] Wally [flattening a Demon w/ a right hook]: Just try and hold out sis! Speedy and the others are bound to be back soon. [As if one cue, the door bursts open and Guido walks in, w/ Speedy and Francine behind him.] Guido [cool, calm and collected]: All right people break it up! If you want to beat up my friends in my Pizza Parlor, there's a two-beer minimum. Demons [in unison, so the echoes are magnified and sound really creepy]: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? Guido [again, imitating Ash from the Evil Dead Trilogy]: The name's Guido. [pops open the sunspot.] Pizza Cat's Pizza. [Some zombies roar and leap at him, only to get a face full of Sunspot. The demons leave their bodies, but they are snatched up by the remaining zombies who run out of the parlor.] Guido: HEY, PUT THEM DOWN! [Guido fires another sunspot blast, which hits one zombie. The result is as expected, and the unconscious man is picked up by a nearby creature. Guido attempts to fire another blast, but the Sunspot fizzles!] Guido: Uh, oh. I think it needs to be charged. Francine: No wonder. We've been using it all night. [Speedy sees Jenny and runs towards her angrily.] Speedy [furious] (furious): YOU CONNIVING LITTLE WITCH! YOU SENT US INTO A TRAP! Jenny [confused]: What? Speedy [knocking over a table]: HE KNEW WE WERE COMING! YOU SENT US INTO AN AMBUSH! [GB, Guido and Wally attempt to hold Speedy back.] GB [holding Speedy back]: Whoa, calm down Speedy! Speedy [struggling]: I WILL NOT! HE'S GOT POLLY! HE GOT HER BECAUSE SHE HELPED SET US UP! Jenny [shaking her head, frightened]: I'd never do anything to help him. Guido: Speedy you're talking crazy. Speedy [not yelling anymore but still angry]: He knew we were coming, Guido. She showed us where he was on the map! Draw the obvious conclusion! Guido: I am. I know her. She hates what Orlock did to her. She'd never willingly help him. Speedy (hostile): How do you know that Guido? How well could you get to know her that short time you were with her. [laughs bitterly] Silly me. Look who I'm talking to. [No sooner does Speedy say that than Guido punches him in the face. Francine moves in to help GB and Wally separate the two.] Francine (annoyed): Will you two calm down? We have more important things to worry about. Like a city overrun with bodysnatching demons? GB: Or a city imprisoned in darkness. [Speedy and Guido lower their fists, puzzled by what GB said.] Josie: What do you mean. GB: What Francine said about us using the Sunspot all night. It got me thinking. This is probably the longest night we've ever had, both in perception and in time. [looks at them gravely] It's nearly 8am. The sun should be up by now. Wally: It's 8 already? Time sure flies when you're fighting for your life. Lucille: That sounds familiar. Guido: So what do we do about this. Speedy: Hey, I know who can help! My brother Scott! He's a big occult buff. He's seen every single episode of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer nearly 13 times! GB [eyes narrow, glancing over at Speedy]: Speedy, does your brother have any life? Speedy: Not of great significance. Meowzma [looking at the other members of the Rescue Team]: And I thought you guys were pathetic. Spritz: Oh, Excuuuuse us! Bat Cat: Yeah, like you're one to talk. Meowzma: Hey, at least I'm married. Gen. Catton: Ah, yes. Your ol' ball and chain. Liz makes my last CO look like a cream puff. Meowzma: Then maybe I ought to have her teach you some manners, General Cattonball! [The argument begins to degrade into a full-blown brawl.] Jenny [to Guido]: Do all of your friends end up fighting at the drop of a hat? Guido: Yeah, most of the time. Speedy [to GB]: I think we ought to bring everyone with us to Guru Lou's. Chances are his is the only place they haven't gotten to. GB: Agreed. We can't stay here. They'll come back as soon as they see Guido's gone, or they'll realize the Sunspot has lost it's juice. Carla: I know I don't want to stay here. Francine: There's a problem. We won't make it to Guru Lou's on foot. And someone needs to stay behind and launch us from the cannon. Jenny: I'll do it! [Everyone turns towards her surprised.] Guido: Are you crazy? They'll come back and get you! You told me you wanted to never go back there. Jenny: There's no body else. I'm just a lowly guest star. Guido: But... Jenny [putting a finger to his lips]: Just promise me you'll come and rescue me. Guido [sighing in defeat]: Okay. I promise. Speedy [taking command]: Everyone to the launch site. Jenny, set coordinates to Guru Lou's. Do you know where that is? Jenny: Anyone who's seen the show before knows. Speedy: Very good. I just hope you're better at making the calculations than Francine or Carla. Francine & Carla [in unison, very annoyed]: HEY! Speedy [trying to recover from his faux pas]: Uh, ah, um... Guys, let's get ready to RUMBLE! All [in unison]: GOT IT! Jenny [voice over the loudspeaker]: Attention, citizens of Little Tokyo- Oh, what the hell am I doing? You're all zombified by now anyway. Forget it, here's the launch. [launches everyone out of the cannon, even GB and Carla who can fly on their own.] Speedy [to Guido]: Hey, Guido... I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I know you'd never do anything like that to Lucille. Guido [looks angry for a moment, then softens]: Apology accepted, Speedy. [looks ahead] Hey, it looks like we're gonna have a clear landing for once! [Speedy gulps] What's wrong? Speedy: Guido, do you remember the last time that we had a clear landing? Guido: No. Speedy: Do you even remember HOW to land properly? Guido [gulps]: I see. That COULD be a problem. [The gang screams as they land face first in the dirt. GB and Carla just control their decent with their wings and land safely.] GB: You ok, darlin'? Carla: As long as you're with me, birdie. Speedy [groaning]: Oh, just shut up you two. [In moments the gang has picked them selves up and dusted themselves off. The make their way over to Guru Lou's house, and knock. The door creaks open.] Guido: You don't think they got to Lou and Scott, do you? Francine [slightly scared]: I hope not. [The inside certainly seems like a tomb. Though dark, it seems eerily lit further in. The sounds of a horror movie dance through out the house. A skeleton pops out from a closet. Speedy releases a hi pitched scream and knocks it over.] Scott: Oh, hi guys! [looks at the skeleton] Hmm. Looks like you found a leftover Halloween prank. GB: Wow, Speedy. I didn't know that pitch was possible for a man. Speedy [embarrassed]: Oh just shove it up your butt, Crow. Guru Lou: Calm down, Speedy. We've been expecting you, so Scott and I put on our copy of Evil Dead 2. Guido: Whoa, I LOVE that series. Francine: As is evidenced by your habit of stealing lines from it during this episode. Guido: Hey, I just read what the writer gives me. Scott: Whatever the case, the demons that possess the bodies of the people are driven away by sunlight. That's why Ash returned to normal in the movie, and that's why Guido's Sunspot umbrella is so effective against them. GB: But the sunspot is completely drained. Guru Lou: Because you've been relying on it all night and the sun hasn't risen yet. As one would expect, the Sunspot gets it's power by storing the sun's energy. This is similar to the way a solar battery stores the sun's energy, except the Sunspot does it through mystical means. When the sun rises, not only will it wipe out the demons, but also the Sunspot will eventually recharge. Speedy: So, why hasn't the sun risen yet? Scott: I've been wondering about that too. I think the answer is in the Necronomicon. Speedy: Oh, great. All we need is an ancient tome of unimaginable evil, which is sealed away in a temple away from the eyes of anything living. Scott: Relax, I've got the Cliffnotes version. Speedy: Oh, well then we have nothing to worry a- [in unison with everyone] HUH? [Scott leafs through a thick yellow booklet that he holds in his hands.] Scott: Hmm, let's see. Demonic Pizzas Recipe... Dead Resurrection... Aha! Darkness Spell! [reads the entry] The spell basically encases the area it's cast on in a field of darkness, giving the appearance of eternal night. When the spell is broken, the field will dissipate. So if you guys break the spell soon, then daylight will return and the demons will be banished! GB: How do we break the spell. Scott: Well it says here that an enormous amount of mystical energy is required to maintain the effect, and so a large obsidian orb called the Midnight Crystal is often used as the spell's source of power. Your sorcerer probably has one such crystal in his castle. If you guys can destroy it, then the spell will be broken! Francine: So we have to go face Orlock again. That's not something I'm looking forward to. Speedy: Neither am I, but we don't have a choice. The whole city is overrun by these things. Plus, he's got Polly and Jenny! Guido: Speedy's right! We gotta go! Gen. Catton: Lou! Do you think you, Scott, Carla and the Omitsus will be safe here? Guru Lou: Not to worry. Scott and I have been working on the place's defense systems. Carla [pauses to consider this, then looks at GB]: Birdie, I'm scared. GB: I am too Carla. Carla: I meant about the security systems here. GB: So did I. Gen. Catton: Speedy, I think the boys and I better stay here on this one. Speedy: Sounds good. All right guys, let's do it! [They all run out, but Guido stops and turns back to Lucille.] Guido: Lucille? Lucille [looks at him curiously]: Yes? [Guido leans down and kisses her. Lou, Scott, Carla, Wally and Josie stare at them.] Guido: I love you. [Lucille smiles and hugs him.] Lucille [ready to cry]: Oh, Guido... I love you too! [Lou and the others soon realize what's about to happen and scream. Some missiles fire off from Lucille's headdress. Within moments, the place is covered in black soot, though it's otherwise unscathed. Lou and the others collapse in pain. Guido and Lucille, still embracing, are unaware of the destruction that surrounds them.] Guido [releasing Lucille, and running out the door]: I'll be right back. I promise. [exits] Lucille [basks in the moment for a while, then turns to her friends]: Hey, why are you guys just lying there? [Lou & Company groan in pain. Cut to Speedy & friends outside Castle Orlock.] Francine: Well, here we are again. Speedy: I'm gonna go see if I can find Polly. Guido: No, we should try and destroy that crystal first. We'll have a much easier time finding her and Jenny then. GB: He's right. Speedy: Fine. Let's do it then! [They enter the castle, noting it's suspiciously empty compared to earlier. They search around, eventually finding a door that leads down to the basement. They go down and eventually come to a room with the Midnight Crystal in it.] Francine: Eureka! Guido: We've got it! Damien [voice from the shadows]: On the contrary, I've got you! [They turn to see Damien Orlock step out of the shadows. Standing directly behind him are Polly and Jenny.] Speedy: Polly! Guido: It's no use Speedy. They're obviously drugged. [Indeed both Polly and Jenny are standing with a glazed, dreamy look in their eyes. They don't seem to recognize any of our heroes, or if they do they don't care.] Damien: Bwahaha! You're just in time Pizza Cats! In a few moments two very special demons will be taking up residence in these lovely bodies. You're friends will come out of their haze just in time to see the looks of horror on your faces. Then they will devour you. Don't worry though. I'll take good care of them while you're gone. [Roaring in anger, Speedy charges at Orlock, swords raised. Orlock raises a hand and a magic shield repels Speedy. At this time, Speedy and the others notice a crowd of demons, Haunters, and Gengars closing in on them. The crowd seems more intent on keeping them from escaping though. Regaining his senses, Speedy attacks the Midnight Crystal. The crystal is also protected by a magical shield. He attacks it a few more times, to no avail. Two clouds of evil mist drift towards Polly and Jenny. Suddenly, Speedy gets an idea.] Speedy: Guido! Are you sure the Sunspot is completely drained? Guido: I can probably get one more good-sized blast out, but it'll take some effort. Speedy: With luck, one is all we need. Get ready. [Guido nods and begins charging the Sunspot.] Speedy: GB, on my word I want you to use YOUR Ginzu attack! GB: You mean the one I used against you? {See Big Comet Caper part 2} Speedy: Yeah! If we coordinate our strikes, we can probably shatter the shield and destroy the Crystal! GB: Got it! Speedy [in his Ginzu sequence]: Guido, those things are gonna get Polly and Jenny. Don't be afraid to blast them! Guido [not liking the idea, but agreeing anyway]: Got it. [The mist is just about on Polly and Jenny now. Polly manages to shake off the effects of the drug.] Polly [sees Speedy]: SPEEDY! [The mist enters her chest and she doubles over in pain, fighting the demon. The other mist enters Jenny and she slowly begins to change.] Speedy: NOW! [Releases Cat's Eye Slash] GB: HYAH [Releases Ginzu attack] Guido: SOLAR FLARE! [Blasts Polly and Jenny] [Polly and Jenny are knocked unconscious by the blast, and return to normal. Speedy and GB's attacks hit the crystal and shatter it completely.] Damien: NOOOO! [His cries seem to trigger a massive earthquake, which causes the castle to crumble. Speedy and Guido scoop up Polly and Jenny, and carry them up the stairs and outside, with Francine and GB. The demons follow unwittingly, and step out into the sunlight. All over town, the people return to normal. As the castle collapses, Orlock can be seen flapping off into the distance.] Jenny [waking up]: Guido! Guido: I promised I'd rescue you, didn't I? Voice: Jenny! You're ok! [A young tomcat, about 18 or 20-years-old, runs over.] Jenny [leaping out of Guido's arms and into the tomcat's]: Rufio! You're alive! Rufio: Oh Jenny, I thought I'd never see you again. Guido: Excuse me- Jenny: Oh, I'm sorry. Ruffy, this is Guido. He saved my life. Guido, this is Rufio... My husband. Guido [looks stunned]: I... didn't know you were married! Rufio: Newly weds. We just got back from our Honeymoon. This is a little more excitement than I wanted on our return home. Jenny (mischievous): You think this was exciting, wait 'till tonight. [The couple walk off laughing, hugging and kissing. Speedy walks over, without Polly who just woke up and is getting reoriented] Guido [chuckling to himself]: Heh. Reminds me of when Ruby got engaged. I don't miss Jenny as much though. Speedy: Good. [looks uneasy] I hope Polly and I are like that. Guido: I wouldn't worry about it. Most newly weds are, from what I've seen. [A dim lightbulb appears over his head and quickly brightens.] Hey... Does this mean what I think it means? Speedy [nods]: I'm gonna pop the question next month, at Vi's Great Comet Celebration. Guido [congratulatory]: Ha-HA! WAY TO GO SPEEDY! ALL RIGHT! Polly [walking over]: What are you cheering about? Guido: Uh, just... Congratulating Speedy one a job well done! Speedy [whispering]: Nice save, Guido! Guido [same]: What? It's the truth! Polly [shruggs]: Whatever. Francine: Come on, guys. Let's go home. GB: Good idea! [With that the gang walks back to the parlor.] Narrator: Uhhh... Anyone catch the licence number of that tank? uhh... Hey, wait a minute! Is the show over already? It IS?! YAHOO!!! [Fade Out] Guest Voice List Damien Orlock: Danny Elfman Demonic Pizzas/ Possessed Townsfolk: Frank Welker Gastly & Gengar: Racheal Lillis Haunter: Jack Taylor Jenny: Karen Bernstein Rufio: Brett Weaver Scott Cerviche: Wayne Knight Copyright 1999-2000, A.R.G.