The New Adventures Of the Samurai Pizza Cats Teaser [Shot of Cats in Victory Poses] Speedy: On the Next... GB [Flying above them]: PIZZA CATS! [Slashes the screen diagonally. Screen falls into two pieces revealing a fight between the Pizza Cats and a mutant sea-creature.] Narrator: As the mystery villain's rein of terror continues, the Pizza Cats discover they have greatly underestimated his power. [The mutant grabs Polly with its tentacles. Its eel like body produces a 100,000-volt charge, knocking her unconscious.] GB: Narrator [scene shift to a swanky hotel suit]: But the real danger is yet to come as GB discovers the final phase of the villain's dark plan. MV: At precisely 4:53 PM today, we shall release the bugs. The central processor will be located in an abandoned Little Tokyo warehouse. These bugs will serve to weaken the political infrastructure and allow me to fill the power vacuum left by Cheese. Narrator [shot of cats unconscious on the ground]: When an attempt to thwart this scheme fails, GB goes solo, in an attempt to rescue the cats and save the town. [shot of GB standing in front of a shadowy figure] But soon, an unlikely team-up occurs, as a familiar face enters the super-hero scene. [Shot of shadowy figure from the front. It is feline and feminine in form. She is wearing a traditional Pizza Cat uniform, similar to Polly's but with a diamond on the helmet. There is a ponytail coming out the back of her helmet, and two large metal spikes protruding from her wrists.] Narrator: Who is this new super feline? (under his breath) As if it weren't obvious. (normally) [shot of GB flying over Little Tokyo] Will GB finally be accepted as the hero he truly is? [shot of Pizza Cats chained to the wall] Are the Pizza Cats finally doomed? (again under his breath) And how obvious is the answer to that Question? Find out the answer to these and other pointless Questions in The Battle Continues...Part 2 of The New Adventures of the Samurai Pizza Cats! Speedy [popping up on the screen]: And don't for get to stick around after the show! We've put together a hilarious collection of SPC bloopers from Part 1 and 2 just for you! Polly [hitting Speedy with a frying pan] (angry): You dumb picklehead! You just ruined our surprise! Guido (annoyed): I told you he couldn't be trusted. We never should have told him. Speedy [lying on the ground, tongue hanging out] (dazed, confused, and in great pain): Uhhh... The New Adventures Of the Samurai Pizza Cats Episode 2: The Battle Continues... Part 2 Written By Guido Cerviche [The show opens with a shot of the pizza parlor, which begins to zoom in. Eventually we zoom through the roof, and wind up in Speedy Cerviche's room, on the floor above the restaurant] Narrator: We return you now to the Samurai Pizza Cat Pizza Emporium, where the channel surfing Speedy Cerviche is about to wipe out on an interesting show. TV [As Speedy channel surfs]: And we can expect continued aberrations in weather patterns- **click** There's no obligation to buy- **click** Today, on Miami Mice- **click** I'm Jon Walrus with Little Tokyo's Most Wanted- **click** -welcome back to the very first live Seymour Cheese Show- **click** Speedy [shocked] (shocked): WHAT?!? [Clicks back to the previous channel.] TV [on screen is BC, live, dressed on a red ballroom gown, holding a microphone]: **click** -topic today is Superheroes & the Women Who Love Them. Our next story is a complicated one indeed, featuring the local heroes of this area: The Los Angeles Pizza Cats. Speedy (shouting to Polly): HEY, POLLY! GB! FRANCINE! COME HERE QUICK! Polly [coming in from the restaurant] (sweetly): What is it Spe- [She sees what's on TV. Her mouth drops open and hits the ground.] WHAAA!!! GB [coming in for the restaurant]: Hey, Speedy are you al- [Sees the TV, eyes bug out] AAUUGGHH! Francine [also coming from the restaurant]: What's everyone so- [sees TV, looks confused] Who's that weirdo? Speedy (amazed): Francine, don't you recognize Big Cheese? Francine [shakes her head]: Can't say I do, Speedy. Of course I never got out much when he was around. GB: Well now the fiend has his own talkshow! How can they let him continue to prey on the innocent? Speedy (muttering): Easy. It's the WB [On the TV, the LA Pizza Cats have gotten into a fight with each other. Suddenly a guest on the show who looks a lot like Lucille starts to scream. Her voice reaches ultra-high frequencies and everyone on the show and in the audience collapses in pain. A crack appears in the TV screen, and the TV explodes.] Speedy (in pain): Ahhh! It's one of the Spice Girls! Polly (can't hear a thing) What? GB (same): What? Francine (same): Huh? Speedy (same): Wha? Polly (same): Huh? Narrator: Geeze that was loud! I'd be deaf if I had ears. Speedy (still can't hear): What? Narrator: Oh, boy. This could take a while. I'll just skip ahead a couple of days. Guido [walks into Speedy's room where Speedy is still in bed] (cheerfully): Come on! Rise and shine, sleeping beauty! Speedy (to tired to deal with Guido): uhhh... Guido: Come on Speedy. Or do I have to sic Polly on you? [In seconds, Speedy is up and ready. He bolts for the door.] Speedy: Come on Guido, pick up the pace! We got a parlor to run and a mutant sea-creature to fight this afternoon. Guido (confused): Hey how did you- Speedy: I was up all last night reading the script. Guido: So, that explains why you're so tired. [Scene shift to the Little Tokyo marketplace. A suspicious character in a trench coat is wandering menacingly among the vendors. The figure hovers over to a sushi stand and promptly begins to devour the entire selection.] Sushi Vendor [angry] (shouting): HEY, YOU CAN'T JUST- [Afraid] OH MY GOD!!! [Scene shift to the vendors view. We see the figure in the trench coat, and then what should be the hands. But instead of hands, there are tentacles shoveling raw fish in its mouth. The thing looks up at the vendor, and with a roar of rage, throws off his trench coat to reveal a grotesque mutant, with the body of an eel, the head of a shark, the tentacles of an octopus, and the claws of lobster.] Sushi Vendor (screaming in terror): AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [The thing leaps at him.] [Scene shift back to the pizza parlor. Francine is once again getting off the phone with Big Al.] Francine: Big Al's on the phone again! There's a mutant sea creature that's terrorizing the merchants at Market Square. Speedy (annoyed): Two distress calls in one week? They don't pay us enough for this! [Once again the Samurai Pizza Cats are launched into the air. As they soar through the sky, they suddenly catch up to GB] GB: Hey Guys! All [Guido reluctantly]: Hi, GB! GB: You guys may want to slow down now. All: uh, oh. [There's a loud crash as the three cats hit the side of a building. Then everything goes black.] GB's Voice (straining): Would someone like to wake up and give me a hand here? [Fade up to the market place. Slowly, Speedy, Polly and Guido regain consciousness. They straighten themselves out and look towards GB. He's grappling with the mutant.] GB (weary): Finally! Do you guys want to help me out now, or what? [Wordlessly, the Pizza Cats position themselves around the monster. Guido and Polly chop off the tentacles while Speedy slices its midsection. The thing screams in pain as it falls in two.] Speedy (suspiciously): They've gotta be kidding! This was too easy! Voice: So, it was! [Three ninja stars fly through the air and hit the ground near Polly's foot.] Polly (exasperated): Not again! [The ninja crows appear from nowhere, and strike!] Speedy: Well, here we go again guys! [Cue the intro sequence.] Narrator: The heroic Good Bird is master of Ninjitsu, Jujitsu, and Worc-Crow-Do! GB [unsheathing sword] (menacingly): If you're a bad guy, You DON'T want meet me in a darkened alley. Narrator: Guido Anchovy utilizes the amazing Sunspot Umbrella! Guido [moving the umbrella away from his face]: Feel the burn! Narrator: The ravishing Polly Esther prefers the potent weapon of Passion Power. Polly: Because all you need is [blows a kiss] love! Narrator: And finally, the star power behind this little fanfic, Ginsu Master Speedy Cerviche! Speedy: I can't think of anything clever to say, so I'll just wipe that smirk off your face! Narrator: Put them all together and you get the motley crew of crime fighters known as the Samurai... All: PIZZA CATS!!! Roland (enraged): FOR THE LAST TIME, I HATE THOSE INTRODUCTIONS! EVERY SINGLE EPISODE I'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH THEM! NINJA CROWS ATTACK!!! [Once again, the Ninja Crows attack the Pizza Cats and Good Bird.] Roland [to Speedy] (angry): I got a bone to pick with you cat! It's time for round two! [Swords clashed as the two leaders square off for the second time. Roland is more experienced this time, and he successfully parries each of Speedy's blows. Suddenly another crow makes a flying kick at Speedy's head. Speedy ducks and the two crows slam into each other, knocking themselves out cold.] [Polly is holding her own, beating crows back with her sword. Suddenly, the crows change their strategy, and attempt a pile-on.] Polly: [She lifts her arm and pushes a button. A crossbow-like gadget pops up from the wrist of her armor, and fires a heart shaped laser blast. The force of the blast blows her back several feet, but does even more damage to the crows, who are blown through the wall of a building, knocking them unconscious. ] Polly (impressed): Gee, I ought to order from the Sharper Image catalogue more often! [Guido has a group of six crows mesmerized by his Sunspot Umbrella.] Guido (like a drill Sargent): Ok, fellas! This will be your last mission as Pizza Cat Trainees! If you can clobber three ninja crows each, in under thirty seconds, you will become official Pizza Cats. Crow 1 (mesmerized, excited): Oh wow! Crow 2 (same): I've been waiting for this all my life. Guido: And... GO! [The crows charge their teammates, and manage to take down two crows each, before the other crows pummel them into next week.] Guido: Sorry, guys. Guess you need more training. [oblivious to the Ninja Crow about to jump him from behind] GB (shouting): Guido, look out! [GB jumps toward the ambushing crow, and puts him down for the count.] Guido (grudgingly): Thanks, GB. I owe you one. GB [oblivious to the last crow standing, who is about to jump him.]: I know. [Guido jumps towards GB, and smashes the hilt of his sword into the face of the crow. The crow falls to the ground, out like a light.] Guido: Now we're even. Speedy [in his victory pose]: Hahahah! Another victory for us! All [In their victory poses]: Ta da! [Suddenly a familiar squishy sound is heard. Turning around, the cats realize in horror that the mutant creature they had defeated has regenerated itself!] All (screaming in terror): AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! [The creature lunges at the cats with newly grown tentacles. Speedy stabs at it several times to no effect- the wounds just close up!] [A flying heart bomb singes the creature's slimy flesh. The thing roars in pain and whirls upon Polly. Grabbing her with its tentacles, its eel like body produces a 100,000-volt charge, knocking her unconscious.] Speedy (shouting): NOOOOOOOOO! POLLY! GB: [Pauses, and squints at the creature.] [Scene shift to GB's view. We see scorch marks on the creature's skin where the heart bombs hit.] GB (has an idea): (shouting): Speedy, Guido! I've got an idea! Keep it distracted while I get something! [Speedy rises from where Polly lay still and gives a mighty battle cry. He whirls his swords at the creature, slicing off pieces of its tentacles, which the thing regenerates as quickly as they were severed. Meanwhile, GB had just found a huge pot of fish.] GB: Perfect! [He dumps out the fish and fills it with water.] GB (yelling): Guido! Get on the rim and get his attention! [Guido does just that, dancing on the rim of the pot, making faces, and calling the thing names.] Guido (teasing): Nah, nah, na na, nyaaaaah! [The thing falls for it, and leaps at Guido. He ducks out of the way and the thing lands in the water. Guido fires a Sunspot blast at the pot, bringing it to a rolling boil. The creature lasts all of five seconds before it is cooked.] GB (sarcastically): So, anyone in the mood for seafood? [As GB flies Polly back to the Pizza Cat hideout, our mystery villain begins to analyze the data from the encounter moments ago.] Elliot: Sir, I just thought you should know that your meeting at the Town Council has been scheduled for Wednesday next week. MV: Very good Elliot. In that case Plan C will go into effect Tuesday next week. Elliot: Excellent, sir. Narrator: Meeting with the Town Council? Plan C? What insidious plot is our mystery villain concocting? Francine: Whatever it is, it'll have to wait! Polly is going to be out for a while. Speedy (concerned): How bad is it, Francine? Francine: She'll be unconscious at least until tomorrow. But she should be fully recovered in about a week. Speedy (relieved): Oh, thank goodness. Francine (inquisitive): You really love her, don't you? Speedy (a little shy): Yeah... Francine (wistfully): Reminds me of Bucky and me... [looks at her watch] Ooh, speaking of which I better get going! We have a date tonight, and our relationship is a little rocky as it is. Speedy: Really? Why? Francine [as she's getting ready]: He says I'm too liberated. Speedy (surprised): Really? I never thought that. Francine (slightly offended): Why not? Speedy: Didn't you once say, "A woman is nothing without a man"? {Gender Bender Butterflies, the show that introduced Bucky. Not seen in the USA :(} Francine (annoyed): That was just a stupid line those male chauvinist writers put in to fill some blank airtime. I'm just as liberated as Polly. [looks at Speedy] (curious) By the way, when did you suddenly become interested in her? Speedy (quickly): I'm sure Bucky is waiting for you. Francine: Oh, right! See ya, Speedy! [runs out the door, as GB walks in, w/ Carla] Speedy: Hey, GB! Good thinking with the broiler. GB (modestly): Aw, it was nothing. Carla (concerned): How's Polly doing? Speedy (serious, w/ a note of relief): She's gonna be fine. (normally) So, what can I get you two turtledoves? [GB and Carla place their order, and begin chatting w/ Speedy. Guido soon joins them, and the four enjoy a peaceful, fun, and friendly evening. Later on, Guido joins GB out on the balcony.] Guido: Hey, a wanna say thanks again. You saved my life. GB: Hey, you would've done the same for me. Guido [chuckling]: I did. GB [same]: That's right! Guido (apologetically): What I mean to say, is, I'm sorry I doubted you. GB: No prob. I understand completely. Carla [from in the parlor]: Birdie! It's time to go! GB: Coming, sweetheart! Guido: Haven't you two married yet? GB: Not yet. Just gotta stop being a chicken, and start being a crow! Guido: Well, you better do it soon! You can't hold on to a girl like her forever... [to himself more than GB] Believe me, I know. {Guido is referring to Ruby, the girl from Kind of a Drag :)} GB [patting Guido on the back]: Take care, bud. [walks into the parlor and flies off w/ Carla, leaving Guido on the balcony, gazing at the stars.] Narrator: I love these dramatic interludes, don't you? But anyway, the plot must move forward. About a week later, things seemed back to normal for the Pizza Cats. Polly was just about back to health, and was being waited on hand and foot by Speedy. Guido was making plans with Lucille, and Francine had dinner in the oven. Just another day at the Pizza Parlor for our fur clad heroes. Francine [answering the phone]: Samurai Pizza Cats! If we're not there in 30 minutes, you need to give better directions! Uh, huh. Yeah. [Eyes growing wide] Five large deluxe pizzas, three Italian subs, and two orders of stuffed Veal Parmigana? What, are you feeding an entire Mafia family? Ok, ok. Sorry I asked. Bye! [hangs up the phone and gets yen signs in her eyes] YES! BIG ORDER MEANS BIG BUCKS!!! [to GB, sweetly] GB! You're not doing anything right now. Could you take this order to the Violet's Palace Hotel and Casino? GB: Sure thing, Fran! [In a few minutes the order is ready, and GB flies it over to the hotel.] Narrator: Violet's Palace, which had been built honoring the Princess on her 18th birthday, quickly became the Little Tokyo hot spot, for residents and tourists alike. Vi herself had thought it was kind of a shabby gift, until she learned that part of the gift included a free one-week stay. Among those who know the truth, the hotel is said to be the closest thing to Prisoner's Island in Little Tokyo. Currently the hotel houses rich and important visitors to the budding metropolis, including ambassadors, delegates, beauty pageant winners, and international crime bosses. GB [taking the elevator up to the 14th {actually 13th} floor.: [pauses to catch his breath] [The elevator stops and the doors open. GB goes over to room 1425 and knocks on the door. Elliot Durly answers it. GB looks at him and his eyes grow wide.] GB (surprised): Mr. ATRIC? Elliot: No. Elle Durly. Jerry Atric is my 3rd cousin. MV [From within the apartment] (shouting): Elliot! Is that the food? Elliot: Yes, yes. It's coming your fatness! [to GB] Thank you for the food. Here is your money. [gives GB the money and slams the door.] [GB looks at the money. There are only a few cents extra for the tip.] GB (muttering): Cheapskate. [...thinking...] Hmmm. [He flies out the window and positions himself on the ledge, so he can listen to the villains talk.] MV's Voice: Then it is settled. At precisely 4:53 PM today, we shall release the bugs. The central processor will be located in an abandoned Little Tokyo warehouse. These bugs will serve to weaken the political infrastructure and allow me to fill the power vacuum left by Cheese. Elliot: It is a brilliant plan sir! MV's Voice: Yes, I know. Ol' Seymour knew what he was doing, bringing me on board, Elliot. Elliot: Indeed, sir. MV's Voice: For am I not the head of the most powerful crime family the States? Elliot: Yes sir. As I recall, your efforts gave the New York Pizza Cats a great deal of trouble. MV's Voice: And thanks to my assault, the Philadelphia Pizza Cats are nothing more than a bad memory to villains everywhere. Soon I will rid Little Tokyo of the Samurai Pizza Cats, and then I will have control of the city! Elliot (confused): I thought Cheese would have control. MV: Elliot, I'm a villain! Villains always double cross each other. Besides, with the Pizza Cats out of the way, who's going to stop me? GB: [thunder clap, followed by pouring rain] Narrator: It's all starting to make sense now folks. GB now knows that Seymour plans to use the Mystery Villain to dispose of the Pizza Cats, and claim Little Tokyo for himself. The Mystery Villain has no intention of handing power over to Cheese when he can easily take it for himself. GB: The only piece missing is where Cheese is! Voice: Perhaps we can help with that. [GB whirls around trying to determine where the voice came from. Out of the shadows walk Mama-san and Junior!] GB: You're back! Mama-san: Yeah! And you'll never guess whom we found in LA! GB: Who was it? Mama-san and Junior: The Big Cheese and Jerry! GB: Of course! BC has a TV Talkshow on WB! It makes sense he would be in LA. Junior: We won free tickets to his show. My hearing didn't return for days. GB: Iknow what you mean. Speedy's TV blew up brodcasting that scream. [The rain has stopped as suddenly as it started. GB looks at his watch and sees the time.] GB: Oh, crud! It's 4:45! [Looks at Mama-san and Junior] Thanks for the info, but I gotta split! [Flapping his wings dry, GB takes off. Scene shift to the interior of the Pizza Parlor just as GB gets in. Francine is sitting at the counter, talking with Carla. Speedy and Polly are sitting at a table sharing a Rootbeer Float, and Guido and Lucille are making out in a booth.] Francine [to Carla]: So, I told Bucky, "Listen- GB (shouting): SOMEONE GET THE CANNON READY, THERE'S AN EMERGANCY! [Everyone stopps what their doing and looks at him.] Carla (concerned): Birdie? Are you ok. GB (calming down): Yeah, babe. I'm fine. But seriously, in three minutes, there's going to be another attack. Speedy (sacastically): So, now you have weird, psychic powers? GB: No. I did a little scouting after my last delivery. The Ninja Crows have re-organized under the leadership of Don Costanza, and he's planning another attack.. Guido [finally coming up for air]: Whoa! "Fat Bunny" Costanza? GB: The one and same. Francine: Wait a minute! How come I've never heard of this guy? Lucille [catching her breath]: Because he's a new villain created just for this series. Speedy: Also, you were out on your date with Bucky last night instead of rehearsing this scene, like the rest of us! Francine: Well, exuuuuse me! [Phone rings] Hold on, let me get that. Polly (weakly): Whats the scoop GB? GB: Fat Bunny plans to use a swarm of robo-bugs to over-run the city. Francine: Hey, you guys! Al Dente called. There's a swarm of robo-bugs trying to over-run the city! Polly (sarcastically): Now, how did I see that one coming? Speedy (concerned): Are you ok, Polly? Do you wanna sit this one out? Polly (bravely): Are you kidding? [Standing up, ripping off her bandages] I've been through worse Mr. Cerviche! It's time to kick some cotton tailed butt! Speedy: Well, in that case, what are we waiting for? Let's get out there and do some bug-swatting! [Cue the launch sequence] Francine [voice over the loudspeaker]: Ladies and Gentlemen, hold on to your hats. It's time to launch the Samurai Pizza Cats! For the third time this episode they take to the sky! S-A-M-U-R-A-I! [launches the Pizza Cats. As Guido is launched GB takes off from the rooftop] Junior [Watching the Pizza Cats fly off.]: Mama-san, remind me again. Why did we tell GB about the Big Cheese? Mama-San [same]: Because, the only way we could get a part in this story was if we agreed to be convienent plot devices. Junior: Is that be the last time we'll be used as plot devices? Mama-San: Probibly not. Junior: Too bad Speedy: So, GB, what are the Ninja Crows doing working for Fat Bunny? GB: Fat Bunny was sent here to make our lives heck in Seymore's absence. He plans to use these bugs to weaken the city's infra structure so he can take Cheese's place as the Prime Minister. What Cheese doesn't know is that Fat Bunny plans to take over Little Tokyo for himself. Speedy: And that would be bad, right? GB: I'll put it this way. With Fat Bunny in control, even the most wretched hive of scum and villainy would look like Disney Land. [The cats shudder at that thought.] Polly: Hey, wait-a-sec! Where's the Narrator? Narrator: Hi guys! Back from my coffee break. Guido: What are you doing, taking a coffee break? You need to move the story along. Narrator: Sooooory! Like you've never screwed up! (annoyed) Anywho, where are we? Ah! Here. [clears throat] As the Samurai Pizza Cats soar through the air GB notices something strange in the distance. GB (shouting): Guys! Look out! [In front of the cats four butterflies appear.] Speedy: Oh, great! I hope they aren't Gender Bender Butterflies! [GB slashes at the butterfly heading at him, slicing it in half. The cats on the other hand are not used to fighting in the air without their Goonie Birds. The butterflies spray a strange green mist at them.] Guido [yawning, sleepy] (spacy): Wha- uh... guys? I think it's... sleeping... ga...[out like a light] Polly [same] (same): oohh. Speedy... I can't stay... uhh...[fast asleep] Speedy: [same] (same): Polly... please... stay a... a... uhh... [taking a siesta] GB: [As GB flies off towards the warehouse, Speedy briefly awakens. It isn't long before he is re-gassed, but he has just enough time to ring the cellular cat bell. Scene shift back to the parlor.] Francine [noticing the bell is ringing.]: Oh phooie! And everyone is busy too! Carla (concerned): But they need help! Isn't there something you can do? Francine [...thinking...]: Hmmm... [looks at her closet] Maybe, there is! [Fran dashes into the closet. Within moments she emerges in a stunning set of armor! It's similar to Polly's except its emerald green, the shape on the forehead is a diamond, and a blond pony tail is coming out of the back of her helmet. Also, when she presses two little buttons on her palms two large metal swords emerge from her wrists.] Lucille [impressed]: Ooooh! Snazzy! Francine [to Carla, while heading towards the oven]: The instruction manuel for the cannon is in the third drawer. Do you think you could blast me off? Carla: Sure, no problem. [Fran hops in the oven. Cue the launch sequence.] Carla [voice over the loud speaker]: Citizens of Little Tokyo, don't be alarmed. Get behind the white line and you will not be harmed. The cats are in touble, so we're going to save the day. The lovely Francine Manx is on her way! [pulls the trigger] Ka-Boom! [Francine blasts out of the cannon in a puff of green smoke.] Narrator: Well you knew it would happen sooner or later folks! Even though GB already said he would rescue the Pizza Cats, it was in Francine's contract that she get a chance to be the hero. Sure it took a while, but you know how she hates being second banana. Carla [voice through Fran's comlink]: Uhhh, Fran? I think I might have miscalculated. Francine (screaming): CARLA!! [Scene shift back to the warehouse] Narrator: As Francine prepares for the pain known so well to our heroes, Polly is waking up to find herself chained to a wall. Polly (annoyed): Oh, god. Chained to a wall? That is so overdone! Narrator (same): Well go see the writer when the show is over then. Anyway As Polly stirred awake, she heard the foot steps of a rather large individual. After all, he's not called "Fat Bunny" for nothing. [The figure that enters is indeed large, though not entirely obese. He's husky, yet powerfully built, and it's easy to see why he is so feared. Although he is a rabbit he has a cat-like air about him. His two lackeys, Elliot Durly and Roland Crow accompany the intimidating Don. Roland, however, is decked out in new Armor, and Polly knows immediately that he has assumed GB's former rank.] Roland: Here they are boss! The once great and proud Samurai Pizza Cats! [spits on the ground.] Elliot [singing]: Sam-ur-I Pizza Cats! Who do you call- Roland (annoyed): Shut up! I hate that song! Elliot: Sorry. I couldn't resist. Anyway your fatness, this here [poking Speedy with his cane] is Speedy Cerviche. A proud warrior of the Cerviche clan, greatly in love with Ms. Esther and a fanatic over personal hygiene- Fat Bunny {FB}: No need to introduce me to our distinguished guests Elliot. I'd be a fool not to know them by now, with those silly intros they do each episode. Roland (disgusted): Yechhh! Elliot: Just as well Don Costanza. My having to introduce them was almost as bad as my singing! Fat Bunny: Leave them down here to rot. Tomorrow, when I assume the role of Prime Minister, we will toss their battered broken bodies onto the street. With their heroes conquered, the citizens will be so terrified they'll demand I gain control of the town. That way... they'll avoid my wrath! [laughing maniacally] Ah-hah-hah-hah-ha! AH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HA!! AH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HA!!! Polly: [struggle to free herself] [scene shift to outside. GB is perched on the roof of the warehouse.] GB: [GB remains perfectly quiet suddenly, he hears screaming he looks up to see a green costumed figure coming strait at him.] GB (screaming in terror): AAHHHHH!!! [The armored figure crashes into GB.] GB (recovering from the pain) Oooh! That smarts. [snapping into battle mode] Alright you Pizza Cat wanna be! Just who do you think you are and who do you work for? Armored Cat (offended): Now GB! Is that anyway to talk to your boss? GB (getting angry): My Boss! What on earth are you talking- [recognition] huh? Narrator: As the armored cat removes her helmet GB is shocked to see that it's- Guess Who-oo? GB (shocked) [shocked]: FRANCINE?!? Francine: You were expecting, maybe, Neve Campbell? GB: What are you doing out here? Francine: Speedy rang the cellular cat bell. The whole Rescue Team is on vacation so I had to fill in. GB: But you don't have the combat experience that Speedy and I have! This could be- [GB pauses as a creaking sound is heard. The roof suddenly gives way. Through the magic of animation they do the cartoony hovering-over-the-gap-for-way-too-long effect, before plummeting into the warehouse.] GB [coughing]: Dangerous. Francine [same]: Thanks for telling me. Roland: What the devil?!? FB [turning to the commotion, sees GB]: Ah. Bad Bird. So good of you to join us. My, how you've grown since I last saw you. You're just in time to witness the defeat of your life-long enemies, the Samurai Pizza Cats. GB (menacingly) [gritting his teeth]: Its Good Bird now, Costanza. And the Samurai Pizza Cats are my friends. I won't let you take this city. FB: That's too bad. Because that means I'll have to kill you. [looks at Francine] But I don't seem to recognize this lovely creature. GB (menacing, and getting very angry): Her name is Francine Manx, and she's a friend. FB: Of anyone in particular? Or just generally, well liked? [turning away] Well it matters not. [snaps his fingers, and about two dozen Ninja Crows appear.] My Ninja Crows. Kill them. Roland (screaming in rage): BIRDBRAIN BATTALION ATTACK!!!! [The Ninja Crows fly at GB and Fran. The two of them jump out of the way and throw what looks like smoke bombs at the chained Pizza Cats.] FB: Your aim seems to be a little off Bad Bird. You're supposed to throw smoke bombs at the crows. Francine: Those weren't smoke bombs... Polly [breaking her chains]: They were sleeping gas antidotes!! [As Polly joins the fight, Speedy and Guido wake up.] Speedy [waking up]: **yawn** What happened? Guido [same]: **yawn** I don't know. But whatever it was- [looks up at the fight] Hey! Who's the babe in the green Pizza Cats armor? Speedy [fully awake now]: I don't know. But I know how to find out! [whistles loudly] Ok, everyone! Time to do our intros! Roland: Oh, NO! NOT AGAIN!! [Cue the intro sequence. Spotlight on Francine.] Francine: I told you before I was tired of being second banana! Well now is my chance [pops out wrist swords and crosses them] to kick your butt! GB: Ya know what I love about being a good guy? [unsheathes his sword] For once in my life, I'm not a failure! Guido: Big Cheese, Fat Bunny, It don't matter to me! [moves umbrella away from face] You're still going down! Polly: I don't think you're such a bad guy. You just need to feel the power [blows a kiss] of love. Speedy: All right guys, enough gum flapping. Let's show him who he's messing with! All: THE PIZZA CATS! Roland (enraged): I'M GONNA HAVE WORDS WITH THE WRITER! WHAT'S HE TRYING TO DO, TORTURE ME? [turns his attention to the crows] WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? DO YOUR JOB AND GET THEM!!! [The crows fly at the Pizza Cats.] Speedy: