Chapter Three- Deep Dish, Canadian Style Heroes Sunlight peeked its radiant face, through the mourning sky and into the Pizza Cat's Pizzeria. It shone into the living room over a sleeping Jeremy, who immediately woke up. He yawned and stretched his arms and legs. He glanced at his watch. The digital display read 7:16 am. He stealthily tiptoed up the stairs of the pizzeria, and down a hallway to Polly's old room. The door creaked open as the canine peeked threw. His brother snored beneath a mess of bed sheets and pillows. Rob their droid, was sitting in a cross-legged position, with one long cord attached to the nearest power outlet. His Cyclops like eye was black, and he sat motionless. Jeremy walked past the robot. A faint light flashed for moment in the droid's eyes. "Derek." Jeremy whispered. "Derek?" He thought for a moment and made the most feminine voice imaginable. "Help! The wind blew my top off!" Derek smiled in his sleep. Jeremy groaned and pinched his brother's nose shut. His brother snorted and flailed around in his sleep. He then opened his eyes. "Why'd ya wake me? I just was having a great dream!" Jeremy sighed. "What?" Derek asked annoyed. Jeremy tried his best to make a bad impression of a Canadian. "I tink we betta be gracious to our hostz, and make dem a real purdy Canadian style breakfast, eh? His brother stared at him for a second. "You are a disgrace to the name Canada. And no I won't help you, it's bad enough I have to work on my vacation, but doing some cooking at seven in the mourning! I'm never up this early, except when I have a hangover or when I'm watching 'The Raccoons." "Oh yeah, you loved to watch that as a kid." "Kid?" "Forget it, I'll make breakfast. And when Rob comes to, tell him to close the doors after he goes out. The living room was freezing." His brother responded with a snore. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jeremy walked into the kitchen, carrying a large attaché case. He set the case onto the table, and unlocked it skilfully. He opened the briefcase. Inside were packs upon packs of Canadian bacon. "God bless Canada," He said, wiping tears from his eyes. He quickly unpacked the bacon, gathered eggs from the fridge, and started his magic... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Upstairs in Polly and Speedy's room, the couple were sleeping. Guido lay asleep in his room, and Fran in hers. From downstairs in the kitchen, the sound of bacon sizzling carried upstairs. Guido and Speedy's ear perked up. Downstairs, Jeremy added more bacon to the frying pan as the crackling became louder. Speedy began to sniff the air in his sleep. His eyes shot open and he bolted upright in bed. Polly yawned and woke up. "What is it Spe-" She stopped and smelled the air. The delicious flavours wafted up to their rooms. As if clockwork, the four cats walked out of their bedrooms led by the odour downstairs into the kitchen. Derek was already downstairs sitting in restaurant, hind paws, on the table. "I take it Canadian bacon is a revelation?" He snidely remarked, but the cats ignored him and watched Derek, leave the kitchen carrying several plates full, of scrambled eggs, various cereals, some toast, and of course... bacon. Speedy and Guido couldn't help but salivate. Derek cleared his throat. "What?" Jeremy asked and looked at the mesmerized cats. "Oh, breakfast is ready." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The quiet valley where Carla and Good Bird were having their honeymoon was still bathed in darkness from a blanket of clouds overhead. Good Bird yawned and opened his eyes. He bolted upright, where was Carla? He looked around and found small note. It read, 'Dear Birdie, I've gone down to swim at the lake. -Carla" Bird hadn't forgotten the bear and flew out of bed and down from the loft, and out the door, down to the lake. He flew past a few pestering mosquitoes, but they fell short to his beak. Good Bird walked towards a beach, and saw Carla swimming, but it was so dark it was hard to see anything over five feet away. He flew out, and hovered above the lake. "Come on in Birdie, the water's fine..." She said seductively. "Carla, what are you doing? It could be dangerous out here?" Bird was concerned, Carla just giggled at him. "Well if you're not going to come in, I'LL HAVE TO MAKE YOU!" She yelled splashing Bird from head to toe. "Alright, no more mister nice crow!" Bird said splashing her back. "Ah! You're in for in now!" She said splashing him, then diving underwater. "You're just making it worse!" Bird teased diving in after her. A moment later he surfaced with a dazed look on his face and large bump on his head. "Heh heh... Forgot to mention to rocks." Carla weakly laughed. "What a great honeymoon." He managed to choke out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jeremy had never seen anything like it in his entire life. The cats ravenously tore into the food he cooked, eating food voraciously like, there was no tomorrow. Even the girls weren't too ladylike. But for Derek it was normal. "I could lose an arm in there." Jeremy said stunned. "Could you pass the bacon?" Derek asked Speedy. Speedy growled defensively. Derek began growling back at him. The two began to bark and growl, at each other while the others, raided the last pieces the bacon. Rob walked into the living room (the puncture wound on his chest patched). He looked around the room and then into the kitchen. "Incoming transmission.' He stated. Speedy looked up. The videophone turned on, with Al's mug on it. "Man, he's accurate." Speedy said, walking over to the phone. "Hi Al." He said scarfing the last of his breakfast. "Hello Speedy I-" "IF SOMEONE DOESN'T FIND HIM, I'LL MAKE YOU SORRY YOU WERE EVER DRAWN!" A too familiar voice echoed in the background followed by a boisterous "Fared!" "What happened Al?" Speedy asked. "Bad news, after our assassin stole the construction plans for the palace, he pulled the 'no escape' trick. But we can't find the body." "What!? An elevator crushed him, he couldn't walk away from that." "It gets better, there was no blood at the scene and we recovered this." Al revealed a small piece of ore. "Lucille's teahouse was robbed." "Is she alright?" Speedy asked. "She fine, but one person made off with several hundred pounds of unsold comet pieces, without leaving a fingerprint, or making a sound." Speedy was baffled. "This ore couldn't have been from the comet's explosion, because it has been broken cut, and shaped." Al said showing Speedy, the other side of the comet piece. "We don't have any leads, only speculation, but we'll inform you of any new details." "Thanks Al." Speedy walked back into the kitchen where the last crumbs of breakfast were gone. "That was the best breakfast of my life." Guido said. "Well I try." Derek said, none too modest. Jeremy sneered at him. "Yeah, after that I think that YOU should be making all the pizzas today, and we'll just get Jeremy to deliver." Francine said. Jeremy silently laughed at his sibling. "When do we open?" Jeremy asked. "In... TEN MINUTES!?" Francine yelled. "Derek this is your fault you know." Jeremy did his best to stifle his laughter while Derek just sat dumbfounded. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Well, he's seen better days." Christine commented on Bird. "Can you help him?" Carla asked. "I've dealt with wounds before." She said walking into over to the bathroom. It was fortunate for Good Bird that Carla was able to drag him into the house. "Sorry for the inconvenience." Carla apologized. "It's no problem." Christine replied filling a syringe. She walked over to Good Bird who was lying on the couch. "Stay still." She said. Carla winced as Christine injected Bird with the chemical. Good Bird's pupil's began to dialate. "What did you give him?' She asked, looking at her husband. "A cure-all we made for emergencies; it's a bit of morphine, antibiotics, just a mix of what doctors give you." Carla looked at Bird who seemed disoriented. "He'll be fine." Christine insisted. Carla reluctantly left Good Bird on the couch. "Hey who are these guys?" Carla asked pointing to framed picture. "These are all the Canucks," Christine, began walking over to Carla, while looking at the picture. "The three in the centre are Jeremy, Derek and I, while the B-Team are two the left." "What are their names?" Carla asked looking at the odd assortment of creatures. "This is Justin Case,' She said pointing to crazy looking raccoon, "He is in charge of vehicles and transport. He's on vacation too. While the others are our B-Team, but we call them the Rockies. Their real names are Ben Dover, Pat Migroin, and Inita Showa." Carla stifled a laugh. "Last but definitely least is Bob, he calls us into action, and leads the Vancouver fire fighter brigade." Christine pointed to an incredibly tall brown bear waving at the camera. "He's about the nicest guy on the team." Christine said. "I brought photos of our team." Carla said walking over to her suitcase. She returned with a small photo album. "Here's after the comet nearly hit Little Tokyo," Carla began, "And this was at my wedding." Carla smiled to herself. "Who are those two fighting over the bouquet?" Christine asked. Carla laughed. "Those are Polly and Francine. Polly eventually won." "Who's he?" Christine giggled pointing at a picture of Speedy. "Forget it, he's already taken," Carla laughed. "A girl can think...." Christine smiled. Good Bird, thought to himself that it was going to be a looooooooooong day... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back at the parlour, the shop had just, opened. Derek was cooking while Guido, Speedy, and Jeremy, having nothing to deliver sat around one of the booths, and talked. Polly was at the register drumming her fingers, and looking into space. The parlour doors opened and one duck waddled in. He approached the register. "Hi, I'll have... a Catbird special to go." The customer smartly said. "Alright, that's one Catbird special to go-" Polly was cut short. "Are you sure you don't want to try our new Canadian style Meat-Lovers pizza?" Derek said approaching the register with his infamous grin. Before the customer could respond, Derek begun to talk again. "Just take one bite, free of charge, and tell me you don't want this pizza." "He, he, Derek what are you doing?" Polly gritted her teeth. Derek kept smiling. The duck smelled the pizza and took one bite. He took another, and another, and another. "I'll take six of these pizzas." The customer eagerly said. All ears in the pizzeria perked up but Derek who only grinned. Once the customer had left Polly was amazed. "H-how?" She managed to say.' "We Canadians are a crazy bunch," He began, "Half in love with death, and gobbling down danger like ordinary dogs eat kibble... Mmm... kibble." Polly rolls her eyes. "We own a pizza hut back in Vancouver, and we learned a few things." Jeremy said. "Well that's some pizza you've got there," Guido said taking a bite from a piece he had snatched, "What's in it?" "Bacon, pepperoni, every type of sausage here, ground beef..." Derek rambled. Polly turned to Jeremy, ignoring Derek. "Jeremy, we need you to get some more tomatoes, and pepperoni. If your brother's pizza is a success, we might need some." "Mozzarella, cheddar, a bit of gouda, the odd olive..." Derek continued. "Why do I have to do the grunt work?" Jeremy asked. "You're new, we get to boot you around the first day." "Alright, back in a minute." Jeremy said walking out of the restaurant's back door. "Why is he going out the back? The stores are the other way?" Speedy asked. "...A smidgeon of Tabasco for some extra flavour..." "He probably doesn't know where anything is Speedy." Polly suggested. "Yeah probably..." Speedy said scratching his head. ".... Three types of sauce, as well as a slice of tomato in the centre..." Just then Francine walked into the room. "Guys listen up," Francine began typing away on her calculator, "That type of pizza he made," Pointing at Derek who was still rambling, "Could be a good boon for business." "I'll put up a sign." Guido said standing up. "How much should we charge?" "Hmm..." Francine thought, "$12.99 for a medium, $15.99 for a large." "That's a little steep." Polly said. "With all of the toppings it costs an awful lot." "Ok." "And then you cook it." Derek looked up noticing no one was paying attention. "Hey!" Meanwhile, outside... "Let's see, two dozen tomatoes, and several large chunks of pepperoni should do it." Jeremy thought aloud. No sooner had he finished, than a large, metal chest plate formed on his chest. It seemed to be made of titanium, and had a gleaming chrome colour. Two majestic wings of metal unfurled from the back and folded outwards, in a majestic display. The wings were segmented, and the edges were covered with small feathers made of metal, sharpened finer than most swords. Jeremy jumped upwards, and flew upwards out of sight. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rob watched motionless from Polly's old bedroom. Once he was convinced Jeremy was gone, he jumped out of the bedroom window, and landed on the ground. He quickly scanned the area, and saw a nearby lake (Pizza Delivery of Doom (?). In a blur of motion, he sprinted and dove perfectly into the water, barely causing a ripple on the water's surface. Under the lake's surface, the mechanical, manthropical menace swum underwater to a nearby wrecked boat. Producing a torch, Rob began to cut away at the ship's hulls, and tear off pieces. He then reached in and retrieved, the ship's engine. Rob inflated a life vest on the boat and floated upwards to the surface. He dragged the engine onto the shore. The engine was torn in many places; pieces were missing or rusted away. Rob ran the data through his systems. He stood up, and armour plating on his back, fell off revealing four metallic tentacles. The tentacles squirmed around, mimicking an octopus. The four metal tentacles shot outwards to the engine. Various sections on the tentacles slid open revealing wire motors, and tiny drills. The four tentacles forced their way into the engine. From within the primitive boat engine, the tentacles opened, releasing the gears, wires and drills into the engine. The small tools repaired the engine, wired into the controls, patched holes, repaired tubes, and fixed the machine from within. Within seconds, the engine hummed to life. Rob used his metallic tentacles, to attach the engine to his back. The tentacles hot-wired the engine to his central processor, giving him complete control. The tentacles dove down into the water emerging with more scavenged pieces, and then begun to attach them to Rob. And from the attached machines, sprung more tentacles to gather more machines, and soon the small Rob, was fairly large... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The parlour was bustling; Derek's pizza was a hit, a smash, an unrivalled mastery.... And it's really good. "Another ten!" Polly yelled to Derek in the kitchen as an onslaught of customers flowed into the store. "Alright, you're pizza's there in thirty minutes or it's cold!" Francine cheerfully said over the phone. Guido and Speedy had been running a marathon across town, figuratively and literally. "Twenty... minutes... until... break...." Speedy collapsed in on the parlour's floor, only to be trampled by customers. Derek had been topping pizzas non-stop for then entire mourning. "I'm the pizza guy, and I'm okay. I drinks all night, and I sleeps all day..." He quietly sung a la Monty Python. He pulled several cooked pizzas out of the oven, and flung them like Frisbees. "Coming at ya!' He yelled. Guido jumped in front of the projectiles, catching them all neatly in pizza boxes. "Two points!" Guido smiled, passing several to an exhausted Speedy, who then dragged himself to the ovens and slid down the tunnels. A loud gunshot signalled he was on his way. "Fran, were going to run out pizzas before we do customers," Polly called to Francine, who was manning, err... womanning the phone. "Polly, we just have work hard until our break! Hello, Samurai Pizza Cats, Oh hi Lucille!" Polly groaned, while taking orders from the mob of customers, while Derek coolly served two ladies at one of the parlour's booths. "Here it is, hot, handsome and delicious, but enough about me, here's you're pizza." He began suavely. The ladies giggled, while Guido seemed unimpressed. "I've used that line dozens of time and its never worked for me." Guido smiled, but Derek was had already pulled up a chair and began talking to the ladies. "Doh!" Guido muttered to himself. Polly checked her watch, will their break ever arrive she thought. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Junior was playing in his room when a certain large dog carrying a bag of groceries, fell crashed through his window and landed in front of Junior. "Uh... mama!" He shouted. "Man... sorry kid, I'm not used to flying in Little Tokyo." With that, Jeremy stood up deployed his wings and flew back out through the broken window. Junior just sat confused for a moment. "MAMA!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jeremy soared upwards via concealed jets in the metal wings. While in the air, he wore a helmet similar any of the cat's, only designed for a dog, and it had a computer-like visor, and was bright chrome colour. "Let's see..." He thought aloud. A map of little Tokyo appears on his visor's display. "Pizza parlour." He said. Several buildings were lit up on the visor's mini-map. One was flashing. "Bingo." He arced it mid-flight, and barrel dove towards the target. The pizza cat's parlour came into view. He thrust his wing forward and landed behind the parlour. His metal wings repacked themselves into the chest plate, and all of his amour disappeared. He looked like plain old Jeremy, except he had the groceries. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Finally," Speedy sighed, "Break." His companions grunted in agreement. "The day has been good for me," Derek said waving to the ladies, "I made some new friends." "Listen up guys," Francine, "Today we made Pizza Cat history!" Every eye turned to her. "We made nearly nine-hundred dollars!" She yelled eyes gleaming with the thought of money. "And that was just in the morning!" "We can't work in the afternoon, we drained." Speedy began. Everyone else nodded in agreement. "We're out of olives too." Derek pouted. "Yeah, and the ovens need cleaning." "I need a catnap." "My blisters have blisters." "I'm just lazy." Derek commented. "LOOK, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO RUIN THE PARLOUR'S MOST SUCCESSFUL DAY, SO GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Francine yelled. "YES 'MAAM!" The other cats and Derek yelled, who bolted out of their seats after Fran snapped. "Boy she really needs a boyfriend." Derek whispered to Speedy. "I'm back!" Jeremy said. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!?" Fran yelled still boiling. "I...um...atmospheric instabilities and climate discrepancies, coupled with tectonic disturbances." Jeremy timidly replied. "Uh...okay." Fran said scratching her head. The phone immediately rang. "Hello Samurai- Oh, hi Bucky! Yes I heard..." "Who's Bucky?" Derek and Jeremy and Derek simultaneously asked, turning to the other cats. "Long story short, he's Fran's boyfriend." Guido said. "Man if she's this uptight with a boyfriend, without one..." Derek shudders at his own thoughts. "He's a deer too." Guido said, walking over to the refrigerator. "Now that just weird," Derek began, "Deer and cat? Species should stick to their own species, or least species and sub-species." "True love knows no bounds." Jeremy defended. "Speedy are they going to fight?" Polly whispered. "In those words, yes." Speedy said. "The entire world would be filled with mixed species, and mutants! We'd be stuck on a giant island of Dr. Moreau!" "You fool! It's basic genetics that in cross species breeding, if the breeding is successful, the mother's genes would be most likely be dominant." "Sure, let's just test your little theory, and I knock up Polly-" "WHAT!?!" Polly roared as she fiercely punched Derek in the chest, sending his sprawling into the wall, leaving an imprint in Derek's shape. Laughing could be heard from the fridge. "What do you have to say now mutt!?" Polly yelled. Derek was just moaning in pain. Jeremy put his hands up defensively and slowly backed away. Francine had finished talking and hung up the phone, she ran up stairs and came back downstairs, while putting on her coat. "Forget everything I said!" She yelled running out of the parlour. "Take the afternoon off, take tomorrow off, whatever!" She yelled running out of sight. "Must be a hot date." Speedy said. Jeremy nodded. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Several minutes later, Jeremy was cleaning out the ovens, while the rest of the cats were relaxing. Rob was still recharging (at least the last time he saw him), Jeremy was the only one working. He was going up to his room when... "Hey, I never noticed those ovens..." He said approaching three very familiar ovens. He peered inside one. It was very dark inside it. He opened the oven. "Hmm..." He said, beginning to clean the oven. He leaned inside the oven. "Where's the back?" He said. As if on cue, he fell into the oven, and the door snapped shut. "HELP!" He yelled as he slid down a narrow passageway and landed on a chair. "OW!" He yelled as he slammed into the chair. The chair plummeted downwards, and very small white armour was forced onto his chest, feet, arms, and shoulders. Just when he thought the worst was over, he was shot into a large pistol barrel. "Hello?" He timidly began, "Oven related mishap." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In The Parlour~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "What the?" Derek said looking at Fran's targeting system. "Ohh... It's video game!" He proudly said. He immediately turned it on. The Pizza Cats cannon rose from its platform, and revealed its weapon like features. Derek aimed the gun around the targets of the city. He aimed the gun straight at the palace. "Fire one!" He said pulling the trigger. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Hel-Aaaaaaah!!" Jeremy was shot directly out of the cannon and into the skies over little Tokyo. "I though you said a dog couldn't become a Pizza Cat." Junior said to his mother watching Jeremy soar through the air. "He must have a good agent." Mama-san said watching Jeremy fly towards the palace. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "What was that?" Speedy asked. "It sounded like the cannon!" Polly said. "But Fran isn't back yet!" Guido said. In the other room Derek quietly backed away from the controls, looked around, then dashed off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile at The Palace~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vi was praying at a small church built inside the palace. "Dear lord," She began, "Please, send a man, good man, a kind man, to help rule this kingdom by my side." She prayed. Vi then waited, and heard yelling in the distance growing louder. Seconds later, Jeremy crashed through the roof and landed painfully on the ground in front of Vi. Vi looked him over and resumed praying. "Do you have him in blonde?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Jeez, what weird person." Jeremy said walking away from the palace, back to the parlour. "Rob better clean the ovens from now on..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The display screen in Rob's one eye read. But Rob hardly looked like anything real now. From his scavenging expedition, he had made himself a new body, built upon his original one. Large sections of metal were twisted and contorted into thin legs, with strange tentacles, running through holes in the metal. His right arm was a propeller forged into a crude weapon, attached to large engine fused onto his back. A chain gun adorned his left arm, while metal from the sunken boat's hull, was oddly placed over the body for armour. The face was covered by a helm, slightly resembling some shoguns or ancient warlords, but it was oddly constructed from scavenged materials. This strange droid, we'll call him the Shogun, secretly hid atop a building, near a marketplace in Little Tokyo. The Shogun scanned the area, with a crosshair view. It's screen read. It focused its crosshair view on Lucille who was buying food at a local vendor. The shogun then switched his view to Francine who was running down a street. It shifted again to Empress Freida and Princess Vi who were walking into various shops. The Shogun looked back at each of the various targets. You could almost hear it say 'Who's first?' It swung its mighty chain gun towards Lucille, and zoomed in on its crosshair view. It focussed directly at Lucille's forehead. The Shogun prepared to fire... Ssssss...SMASH!!! The shingles supporting the Shogun gave way, sending the Shogun over the edge and smashing into the ground. The Shogun stood up a little dazed, and several people screamed. Panic ensued as everyone tried to flee from the marketplace. The Shogun quickly scanned the marketplace and saw that the four targets have eluded him. Raising his mighty weapon, he opened fire, instantly levelling cars, buildings, and people... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pizza Cats! We have a situation!!" Big Al yelled over the videophone. "What is it Al?" Speedy asked running over to the phone. "See for yourself." Al said. The picture switched from Al, to the Shogun, shooting anything in sight. It then turns to the camera watching it and opens fire. "I'm afraid that all we've seen." Al said with the phone switching back to him. "We're on it Al!" The cats yelled. "We'll meet you there!" Derek and Jeremy said running out of the parlour. "They could have taken the cannon... Oh well." Guido shrugged. Speed and Guido dived into the ovens. Polly aimed the cannon at the market. "It's set on auto fire!" She yelled following the two. The three cats zoomed through the tunnels, donning their armour, and being shot from the cannon. Sadly, Francine wasn't around to make some crazy rhymes. The cat zoomed gracefully out of the cannon and through the air. "Hey, the auto fire works better than Francine!" Guido laughed. "Don't let her hear that!" Speedy joked. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Shogun looked around the crumbling marketplace. It turned around and saw the Pizza Cats. "STATE NAME AND FUNCTION!" The Shogun yelled in an incredibly deep voice. The cats begin their infamous intro scenes. A spotlight shines down on Guido as he talks. "My name is Guido, the kitty Casanova." He coolly talks, while holding his Sunspot umbrella behind him. Next Polly is shown. "Our mission is to triumph over evil! So if we hurt you, it's only because we love ya!" She ended blowing a kiss. The Shogun raised an eyebrow confused. Finally Speedy is revealed. "And my name is Speedy Cerviche, the-" Speedy was cut short as he dodged a hail of bullets. The other cats ducked for cover too. "YOU TALK TOO MUCH." The Shogun said. His systems read scanning the cats. He shot volleys of bullets through the market place. "Speedy, go and distract him while I attack him from behind!" Guido yelled. "Are you kidding?" Speedy said. To prove his point, Speedy picked up a rock the size of his fist and threw it into the air. It flew peacefully into the air, and then a hail of bullets shot the rock into tiny grains of sand. The cats looked uneasily at each other. "We fight robots or ninjas, not trigger happy psychos." Speedy said peering at the Shogun who fired continually at the cats. "Then that's where we come in..." Derek said. The cats turned around to see Jeremy and Derek on top of a nearby building, in full battle armour. Jeremy gracefully soars to the ground with his metallic wings. The rest of his armour was large metal talons like an eagle's that he wore like boots that covered most of his legs. Each claw gleamed in the afternoon light. He brandished a chrome-coloured poleaxe that curved upward at the blade, and was magnificently forged, like an ancient Roman weapon. The rest of his armour was the same as it was described before. "You can call me the Archangel, but there's nothing Holy about how I use this axe, or how I shoot my Feather Bombs!" Jeremy yelled at the Shogun. Derek jumped to the ground landing on his feet with a loud thunk. Derek's armour was a huge breastplate, and body armour, all ebony black, with a red type of armour at each of his joints like his elbows, knees, or wrists. Derek's helmet was shaped like that of his head only ebony black, and with red lenses over the eyes. Derek slung an incredibly large cannon over his right shoulder. The cannon was black like Derek himself, but had dozens of buttons, controls, and cross hairs on the massive cannon that was almost as large as Jeremy! "You can call me Cerberus, and like it or not, you're going down!" He sneered aiming his massive cannon at the Shogun. He looked at the duo. The Shogun raised his cannon, but before he could fire, Archangel soared through the air and sliced several large wires on the Shogun before landing behind him. Sparks fizzed from the Shogun as he turned to see the Archangel, rear up his wings. Each, featherlike metal section of the wing shot out like razors tearing into the Shogun's metal cutting away metal and more wiring. "Take that!" Archangel called. The Shogun raised his cannon at Archangel. "Hey, dumbass!" Cerberus called. The Shogun turned to see the mighty cannon aiming at him. With a thunderous boom, a large beam of energy shot outward to the Shogun's chain gun, atomizing it instantly. The Shogun' looked shocked... for a robot, looking at its weapon which was now only a few smoking remnants. It turned around once again to see Speedy Cerviche. "Hey you trigger happy techno trash, I'm going blow you to pieces!" He yelled in a combat stance. In a blur of power, he unsheathed his magical Ginzu sword, while holding his other sword (Binky) in his other hand. The Shogun watched fascinated. Speedy arced the twin swords upwards, and a beam of energy shot outwards towards the Shogun. The Cat's Eye slash violently hit the Shogun and exploded on contact. The cats turned away from the blinding flash, and turned back when it died down. A smoking crater was all that was left, aside for small engine parts and metal bits that began to rain down. "Now that," Cerberus said impressed, "Is an attack!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back at the parlour... "How come you never told us about... about..." Polly trailed off. "The Endosuits?" Jeremy suggested. "Yeah... what?" Polly asked. "Those suits we have are custom made, top of the line in storage size, use and power." Derek said turning the TV on. "They are like you own suits, but ours are very hush-hush." "Hey!" Speedy said grabbing the remote control from Derek. "Hey I was watching that!" Derek whined trying to grab the remote back. Speedy changed several channels and stopped at the news. "Shh!" Speedy said with his finger to his lips. Everyone listened intently to the news. "I'm Otama Yamamoto, reporting live at Little Tokyo marketplace, the site of terrorist attack earlier today." The reporter said motioning the wreckage of the marketplace, where policemen searched the area, and firemen were putting out small blazes. "Terrorist?" Jeremy asked. Rob walked down the stairs and into the living room. "Rob!? Where have you been?" He asked. "Yeah how come you didn't help us fight the evil robot?" Guido asked. "I was recharging my power cells. Fluxuations in the power usage hindered the process." Rob said, "Besides, no one asked for assistance." Everyone sighed. "Shh! News!" Speedy said watching the newscast. "... The gunman levelled most of the market place and causing injuries to Little Tokyo citizens. Eight are reported dead and nine injured with mild to medium wounds..." I hope Fran's okay, Guido thought. "... Among the injured is Empress Freida, who was taken to Little Tokyo public Hospital earlier today. Princess Vi, spoke out on the terrorist attack..." The TV switched from the reporter to Princess Vi. "Once we find who attacked our fair city, we'll MAKE THEM PAY!" Princess Vi yelled loudly. The camera focused back to the reporter. "Uh, yes... well, more on the subject at six o'clock, and now, sports with Daryl Musashi..." Speedy muted the sound. Everyone sat in silence. "I know this is going to sound rude, but turn up the volume." A Pizza cat helmet hit Derek in the head. "OW!" He yelled gingerly rubbing his head. "Polly." Speedy said annoyed. "Sorry." Polly said. "Subject seven approaching." Rob stated. All eyes turned to Rob. The parlour's doors opened and Francine walked in, not even stopping to say hello. She walked up the stairs sniffling, tears welling in her eyes. "How DOES he do that?" Guido asked. "Subject expelling salt water." Rob said focusing onto Francine. "She's crying." Derek said grabbing the remote back from Speedy, and turning up the TV's volume. "I better talk to her." Polly said standing up. "I'm the master of being dumped, I've heard 'em all." Jeremy said counting the saying on his fingers. "I like you as friend, I love you but I'm not in love with you, I'm in love with the sea, I don't usually use restraining orders, but I will, we're not compatible, and above all three simple words, I am gay." The cats eyed him strangely, even his brother did. "No, I think I should talk to her." The cats eyed him even more strangely. "What? I didn't take three years of psychology for nothing!" He defended. "Too bad most of it was criminal psychology." Derek muttered to Speedy. "Since it's Fran, he might need that knowledge." Speedy whispered. Derek snickered. "Alright, fine." Polly said, motioning Jeremy away. Jeremy walked upstairs. Derek was surfing through channels sitting motionless on the couch. "Oh, Red, where will I go? - Bzzt! "The secret to catching small mouth Bass is- Bzzt! " Are you ready for new way to clean your toilets and brush your teeth at the same time"- Bzzt! "And now, our new line of brides dresses perfect for the-" Something in Speedy's brain clicked. He sat bolt upright. "Guido can I see you in the kitchen? Now?" Speedy energetically asked. "What? Okay." Guido yawned lazily standing and following Speedy into the kitchen. Only Polly and Derek were still in the living room. Polly was thinking deeply to herself and then she turned to Derek. "Derek I know this sounds weird, but... can I ask you for some advice?" She asked. Derek sat motionless watching the TV. "Derek?" She asked. He grunted something unintelligible. Polly stepped in front of the TV. "Derek?" She said. Derek leaned over and continued to watch TV. Polly switched the TV off, and then Derek used the remote and turned it back on. Polly then pulled the plug out of the wall. "DEREK!" She yelled. "Yeah?" He said, finally turning to her. Polly shook her head and continued. " Can I ask you something?" "Sure." He said. "Does it involve TV?" He asked with a glimmer of hope. "Well...I- shut up about TV!" She scolded him. "Oh," Derek pouted. "I've been thinking about taking a second job." Polly said. "Why?" Derek asked glancing over to where the remote was kicked. "If me and Speedy ever... tie the knot." She quickly ended. "I don't know if we could afford a house, or have a kid." "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You're going a mile a minute here! A kid? A little advice on men, don't even talk about until you're married." Polly sneered at him. "Uh, well you can do whatever you want... it's from my point of view you'd be wiser to... About the job!" He switched topics. "You'd run yourself ragged, heh, heh, I remember when Homer bought Lisa a horse, and he had to get a second job at the Qwik-E-Mart." Polly stared at him. "What kind of job were you thinking about?" "I never really thought about that..." Polly said thinking to herself. "Well you could always be a stripper." "Yeah, A- WHAT!?" She yelled at him. "A wallpaper stripper." He quickly said. "Oh well, maybe..." Polly said. I never get tired of that joke, Derek thought to himself, hey where's Rob? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In the Kitchen~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Jeez, look at the size of that rock!" Guido yelled in surprise, staring at an expensive looking gold ring, with a large diamond in the centre. The gold was intricately crafted, holding the diamond in place, by many sections of gold. Speedy held the ring in its velvet case. "That must've cost a fortune." Guido said, never taking his eyes off of the ring. "You've got a ring, you love, and she loves you, so what's the problem?" He turned to Speedy. "I-I... don't know." He stammered. Guido looked confused. "It's just the little things I guess..." "Like..." Guido motioned him to continue. "Won't everything change once were married? Will it affect our jobs? Will we want a house? It's just nerve rattling I guess..." "Why are you talking to me? I'm not married; hell I can't even get a steady girlfriend. Why don't you talk to Bird or Meowzma?" "Bird's in Canada remember?" Speedy said a little annoyed. "Oh yeah, no wonder I haven't heard his scratchy voice complaining about something." "And Meowzma's busy tonight, so unfortunately you're my only help." "Man you got everything going for you, the only things that will happen once you are married is that thing will get better! C'mon you're a smart cat, figure it out... Well you're not that smart..." He began. "That's it Guido, I'm proposing tomorrow!" He said smiling, "Right at our break!" "There you go!" Guido said enthusiastically. "Oh and Guido... This conversation never happened." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Upstairs in Fran's Room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Francine?" Jeremy knocked on her bedroom door. "Hello?" He heard crying sounds from within the room. "Can I come in?" More crying was heard. "I'm taking your silence for a yes..." He said quietly opening the door. Francine was lying down on her bed crying into a pillow. "Um... Francine?" Jeremy asked. "Go away." She said between sobs. "We both know it's not good to bottle things up, just tell me what happened, okay?" Nothing. I'm a certified psychologist. Completely confidential." Fran turned to Jeremy, tears in her eyes. "I swear on my pet chameleon's grave." Fran smiled a little, but then began to cry again. Jeremy sat down beside her on the bed. "What happened?" Jeremy asked. Fran sat, tears welling in her eyes. "Well, *sniff* me and Bucky were a fine couple, *sniff* at least I thought we were." She began to cry again. "Let it all out." Jeremy said sympathetically. "Well, *sniff* it turns out *sniff* that there was someone else." Francine broke down into tears and grabbed onto Jeremy. "I...Um..." Jeremy said with Francine b holding onto him bawling. "Well, you know the saying 'tis better to have loved and lost." "Lost..." Francine repeated and then began to cry again. "Aw... This isn't going well." He sighed. "Hmm..." He thought. "Now, you lost someone close to you, and that'll hurt. And you're going to find that life isn't easy it has it ups and downs, but you just have to move on. Fredrick Nietzsche was right, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The only way you'll accept what has happened it to move on, and put it behind you Fran." Fran smiled and wiped the tears from here eyes. "Thanks," She said and kissed a surprised Jeremy on the cheek. "Your welcome..." He said, "Right now, were you coming onto-" "No." "Really?" "No." "Not even a little?" "No." "Hmm... are you sure?" He asked smiling. "Shut up you pervert!" She said laughing and hitting him with her pillow. "Now Francine, no one likes a tease." Jeremy said trying to be serious. Francine just kept laughing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jeremy walked down the stairs into the living room. "Jeremy!" Polly began concerned, "Is Francine alright?" "She's fine." Jeremy reassured. "She just need a little time and then she'll be her stingy self again." Polly smiled. Guido and Speedy emerged from the kitchen. "What was that about?" Asked Derek, turning to the two cats. "Oh..." Guido began, but Speedy put his finger to his lips. "Nothing" "Whatever." Derek said. "Is Fran?" Guido began. "Fine." Jeremy and Polly said. Just then, the wall phone rung. Guido threw his hands up in the air. "Will this day ever end?" Guido asked. Jeremy walked over and turned on the phone. "Hi Pizz- who are you?' Big Al asked on the other end of the phone. "Who am I? Who are you?" Jeremy retorted. "Well I certainly don't know you." "Same here." The two dogs shrugged. "Tell the Pizza Cats that Princess Vi wants to see them immediately at the palace." "Okay then, I will." "You should." "I'm going to." "Okay, fine. "Fine then." The dogs shrugged again, and the transmission ended. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I don't get it." Derek said staring at the Pizza Cat launch ovens. "It's simple, we travel down through the ovens into the launch bay, and then we are launched from the cannon." Guido said. "I still don't get it." Derek said. "Just shut up and go down the ovens after me or Speedy." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The cats go into a familiar launch scene, where they dive down their ovens, and have the armour assembled, as two canine slid down the tunnels after them. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *Gasp* WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Derek shouted sliding headfirst down Guido's chute. Jeremy calmly followed Speedy. "Who's launching us?" Jeremy yelled ahead to Speedy. "The autopilot will take care of us." Speedy said back. "I think I can handle it." A familiar voice said over the speakers. "FRAN?" The cats and Jeremy asked (Derek was still screaming). "I'm not letting my friends down this time Francine said. The cat could answer as the rising pistol like cannon lifted from the parlour. "The Pizza Cats are on their way, to see Princess Vi and save the day!" Fran rhymed taking control of the cannon. She took aim and fired five shots, sending the heroes soaring. "Man what a rush!" Derek was exhilarated. "Those people look like ants down there!" "Derek, those are ants, keep your head up!" Jeremy said. Who was now in full armour soaring above the cats with his metal wings. "Say is Fran a good shot?" Jeremy asked. "Not really..." Speedy said. "Why do you ask?" Polly said. Jeremy stopped in mid-flight and pointed forwards. The cats turned around and BAM! The old shot to the wall. The cats and Derek were twitching in pain as they were stuck in the palace wall, which crumbled and they fell inside. Jeremy shook his head. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The cats were fine except for several cuts and bruises, as they walked into the throne room. On either side of the room, were the royal advisors. Princess Vi was sitting in her throne while Emperor Fred waltzed around saying his favourite word. "Samurai Pizza Cats... Who are they?" Princess Vi asked pointing to the Canucks. "Oh... I know you, you fell into the church through the roof." Vi said pointing to Jeremy. All eyes fell upon Jeremy. "Long story." He simply said. "Cats," Vi began again, "As you know, my mother is in the hospital. I want you to find out who put my mother there." Before anyone could speak, Vi continued. "I know what you're thinking... From the wreckage of the robot the palace guards have found nothing, not even the batteries." "Princess I did-" Speedy was cut short. "That was the exact same thing with assassin who breached security at the palace. I'm not asking you to find the culprit I'M TELLING YOU!" She yelled making the cats jump. Derek began to chuckle. "And what's so funny?" The Princess asked calmly. "You, miss high and mighty." Derek laughed; the princess stared at Derek in a confused expression. "Poor Derek.... Never even saw it coming..." Speedy sighed. "Do you know who I am?" The Princess asked in an expression of stoic anger. "Yeah.... You're the Trix Rabbit aren't you? Of course after some sex changes." The princess turned crimson red, with veins bulging from head that looked as if they could explode at any moment. "Bye Derek." Guido whispered. "SEND HIM TO PRISONER ISLAND!!!!!" The Princess's high-pitched voice wailed. The palace guards had surrounded Derek with swords pointing at his head. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I think we can reach an... understanding..." Derek smiled dubiously. The princess eyed him. "Let me explain..." He said walking over to the Princess and whispering something to her. "What's he doing? Guido asked. "He's going to con her somehow." Jeremy whispered back. The princess and Derek whispered back and forth to each other for several seconds and then the princess spoke up. "It is agreed." She said. Derek casually walked over to his friends. "What did you tell her?" Poly asked him. "Oh nothing much, a little of this, a little of that, Jeremy's going to have dinner with her-" "WHAT!" Jeremy yelled. "Don't worry bro, it'll be fine, see you later." He said leaving, "Hey do you guys want to try some seafood as much as I do..." "Sorry Jem." Guido said walking away. Polly and Speedy shrugged, and followed Guido. "Help..." Jeremy said weakly to his leaving friends. "Now let's have some fun..." The Princess smiled devilishly. "Okay." He timidly replied. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Much Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Poor Jeremy, that was really mean Derek." Fran sneered. "It's for the best, he hasn't had a date in ages." Derek said defensively. "But Vi... I mean... Vi?" Fran repeated. Derek shrugged. "Hey... look outside!" Polly said. All heads turned to the parlour windows. "It's snowing!" Speedy yelled. "Wow, it's really coming down out." Francine said. "After she finished she realized she was the only one inside. Everyone was outside already. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" She yelled running outside, to be met by a snowball. "Take that Fran!" Guido yelled playfully. "Ow... Guido that hit my eye." She pouted. "I'm sorry Fran." Said Guido walked over to her. "Aw great you've attacked you boss!" Derek said. "It was snowball!" He defended. "My jaw had to be reset, because of a rock disguised as a snowball." He said walking in the Pizzeria, with Fran nursing her eye. Guido followed apologizing to Fran every step of the way. Speedy looked over to what happened. He then noticed Polly staring up at the stars threw the falling snow. Walked up beside her at stared at them with her. "Aren't they beautiful." Polly said, "Their light is billions of years old. The stars are long gone but their light remains, and travels throughout the universe." Speedy turned and looked at Polly. He loved her more than anything he ever could. Even though their relationship started out rocky, he felt she was the one for him. Polly looked back at Speedy, and the two stared in each other's eyes for a moment. Then they kissed under the light of the stars, and the snow gently falling to the ground. From one of the unlit rooms in the parlour, the Shogun, or Rob or whatever he was, stood watching them, red eye gleaming. He glanced at a clock. 10 Hours... He computed. 10 Hours and this land will be a memory and its people annihilated. 10 hours to Roganarok.... TO BE CONTINUED/CONCLUDED! To my most loyal fans (if any exist beyond my infamous Diablo series), To set the atmosphere for fight scenes, or just anything with action, one must find appropriate music... Here are some fine titles to look for... Top Gun Soundtrack, Mighty Wings (by Cheap Trick), Danger Zone (by Kenny Loggins, awesome without a doubt), Skip Raiders- Another Day, Underworld- Born Slippy, out world- The End (instrumental parts) As well as Mp3.com... Simon V- Pulse Code (when it picks up) Game Music Finland- The Sound Of Rave 4 (good) Never heard of them? Neither did I till, a few weeks ago. As well as the themes for Kyatto Ninden Teyandee, and Samurai Pizza Cats, or anything fast paced, almost anything works well. -Alpha Draconis