BEFORE THEY MADE PIZZA: PART ONE BY KAT* N: For those who have just started reading this you certainly have missed alot! Now I SUPPOSE you want to know whats happening...(under his breath) greedy vultures..AHEM! It begins when Speedy, Polly and Guido (accompanied by Francine) were called to the Palace by Princess Vi for an emergency. When they arrived they were annoyed to hear that the big panic was because Princess Vi could not get her beauty sleep untill they removed a giant hairy spider from her bed. For back up, Vi also called the police, the fire department and the army, just incase the spider would not go queitly. So let's all tune in to the crime scene now.. Speedy: (holding a crow bar) Come here Mr Spider, I won't hurt you......I just want to crush your insides a little bit... Vi: STOP! I will not permit you to do such a thing! Those bed sheets were imported from Italy! I WON'T HAVE SPIDER GUT STAINS ON MY SHEETS!!!! Polly:(yawning) Let's just spray the stupid thing. Vi: NO! I hate the smell! My bedroom would stink for weeks!!! Francine: (trying to sound reasonable) Well your hinas what do YOU think we should do? Vi: (annoyed) Well I called you over here so you could figure that out! Your suppose to be professional super heros! And I'm a helpless victum!!!! No one is leaving untill the spider is DEAD!!!!!! Polly: It's 10 minutes till midnight. The girl is nuts! It's just a spider for crying out loud. Who could care less about her stupid sheets anyway?! Vi:(whining) Why aren't you getting rid of the spider! I want to go to bed! If I don't get seven hours sleep my eyes will puff up and I'll look like a corpse! Speedy: (whispering in Guido's ear) That would be an improvement! Vi:(more whining) What kind of training did you Pizza Cat's do anyway! You are all wasting my time! You are failures at Pizza Cat's, you can't even kill a spider, YOU...! Speedy: (interrupting Vi) Well your hinas for your infomation we trained at "The Samurai Pizza Cat Academy" for two years, and believe me we worked our butts of! We know all about being Pizza Cat's! (Polly, Guido and Francine looking at Speedy with disbelief) Vi: (calm) Did you just interrupt me......? Speedy: (sweating) I ah....well..ah...um..I..ah....I..was..ah Vi: IS THAT A YES OR A NO??!!!!!! Speedy: Yes! I mean no, wait I mean yes, or possibly no.... Vi: Anyone who interrupts me gets a free trip to PRISONER ISLAND!! Speedy: Gulp.. Vi: But just for fun I'll choose another punishment for you Speedy. Do 300 push-ups NOW!!!!!! Speedy: HUH?! What kind of punishment is that??!! Vi: I was watching aerobics this morning and got inspired, but I don't feel like doing anything that will mess my hair, so you'll do it for me PEE WEE! Speedy: Oh why ME! Vi: Because you don't have to worry about messing your hair, baldy!! Guido: C'mon Speedy it will be just like High School! Francine: I remember that! Speedy had to do push-ups all afternoon because he was caught in the girls locker room. Speedy: (On the floor in pain) That was an accident! I didn't mean to! I thought I was in the art rooms... Polly: Sure, sure, SURE! All lies Speedy! You were in the locker rooms looking for Luciel. Speedy: (still doing push-ups) Yes I KNOW that Polly, but I would never do such a thing on purpose! I was a gentleman in High School. Polly: You were a Home Ec NERD! Speedy: Was not! Polly: Were to! Speedy: Was NOT!!!! Polly: Were TOOO!!!! Guido: Isn't it time to cue the flash back? N: OKAY, okay keep your tail on, let me just find my lines... Francine: I thought you were more profesional then that? N: I fell asleep! You are all so BORING sometimes! I may as well get a job on the Discovery Channel!! Just cue the flash back..! (everything gets all cool and wobbley as we go back a couple of years to when the cat's were young teenagers at high school) N: Ahem. We begin our story with the first day of school. Alot of secrets will be revealed, stories that you never new about our Pizza team will be told, it's like travelling in the Twilight Zone. What I'm trying to say is that everybody is different, twisted and weird (more so then usual even)! So sit back, relaaaaaaaaaax, and enjoy! As we begin with all the students standing in front of the school waiting for that horrid bell to ring.... Guido: (In a football jacket, jeans and sneakers) The Gods have smiled on us my friend!!!! It's finally happened! I can smell it in the air!! Bat Cat:(Wearing practically the same thing) Are you sick or something Guido? It's the first day of school and your on about smile'in Gods? Your not even beating up any freshman? Guido: But it's our LAST year of school cause we're dropping out early remember! You get me? After this it's all over, we will have the freedom to do and to have as may parties as we want! And I can finally pursue my dream of being a famous football player!! Think of all the GIRLS! Oh, and don't worry, I'll beat some geeks up after lunch. Bat Cat: Whatever. N: Near by...... Polly:(In a skirt with her cheerleading sweater and her hair in a brade) C'mon Luciel, arne't you done with the mirror yet? Luciel:(In a blue dress that's waaaaaaay to short) But Polly I need to get my foundation just right, I can't go around the first day of school with different skin shades!!! What kind of impression would I make!!? Polly: I need to see how my new eye-shadow looks, give me that thing!!! ( grabs the mirror) Luciel: NO! That's mine I had it FIRST!!! You make me so mad sometimes I just feel like............... KAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!! (Missiles dart from left, right and centre causing students to bound out of the way in fear) Polly: (sighing) You know Lucile you could just decorate your hair with clips or a band but NO! You chose ammuntition....! Luciel: I don't care what you think! It's what their doing in Paris at the moment anyway.. (worried) Oh GOD! I probably look all parched now, wheres that mirror?!! Polly:(not paying attention) Hey, check it out! Madame President has arrived! Luciel: (looking over her shoulder) Looks like she's brought that bad fashion sense back this year. N: The girl they are cussing at is none other then Francine, the enemy. That's right! Before Polly and Fran became best friends to this day, Fran was head of the debating team and did oragami classes as a hobby on weekends. She's also a wiz at commerce, (as in money. Francine and money are practically the same word) and Polly was the cheerleading captain. These two did not share good vibes in High School. Polly: (giving her a dirty look) Take a look at that vest and those buckle shoes! She's even worse then last year. Keeps thinking she will take over the world or something weird. Who wants a leader that can't coordinate her fashion accessories? Luciel: (outraged) I KNOW! Polly: (suddenly looks deceptive) Hey Luciel, who are you thinking of taking to the party this coming Friday? Luciel: Ah...(in denial)..what party? Polly: Please Luciel, only the biggest party of the year! At Conny Tyra's mansion!? Remember?? We shopped all Saturday day and night for it! Luciel: (blushing) Oh yeah, well its none of your business who I want to bring!!....You would laugh anyway.. Polly: (really interested) Oh my God now you have to tell ME!! Is it real embarassing? Luciel: (walking away slowly) I think I heard the bell ring, I'll see you in class Polly! BYE BYE! (runs off) Polly: Funny I didn't hear no bell? N: Poor old Speedy Cerviche. Who knew this lonley, geeky guy would become the leader of the Pizza Cat fighting force? Speedy: (In a white shirt, green buisness pants and the thickest frames of classes you've ever seen) Hello! Will you go to Conny's party with me?? Girl: (looking disgusted at the sound of the question) I'd rather go with my dad! (stomps off) Speedy:(walking away) Can't say I didn't try. I'm never going to get a stupid date for this event, OOOUCH! (walks into a tree) Curse these SPECTACLES's! (puts his glasses in his pocket) N: Oh look who's coming Speedy's way, it's Bad Bird! Well back then he was actually Good Bird, and was also Speedy's best friend! If you think that's weird, "Good Bird" was a A grade student. Now he's an A grade pain in the behind! Good Bird: Hi Speedy! Is that a bruise on your head? Speedy:(covering it up) It's nothing! Why weren't you on the bus this morning? Good Bird: My mum insisted she drive me here. She has a new job near here or something. It's really humiliating when your mum drives you to school and Polly Ester sees you. She wouldn't stop screaming "Mummy's little loooooooser!" Speedy: I know what you mean, I asked her to go to the dance with me but she said she would rather eat compost. I don't see why girls don't like me. Just because I like cooking and I play the tuba! N:(sarcastic) Yes that ones confusing me to... Good Bird: I agree, they all seem to like Guido Anchovie type guys. Just because he's the captain of the football team. It's sad really they don't notice the guys with brains. (Both laugh out loud) N: HA HA! So NOT funny! Speedy: Hey, maybe if we go in the football team, we will gain what we've always wanted... Good Bird: (excited) Flourescent lights??! Speedy:...no! N: (confused) WHAT? Speedy: I meant respect! Good Bird: Are you sure we're up to it Speedy? I don't want to get hurt, or dirty... Speedy: Just think about it - girls as popular as Polly Ester would want to go out with me...! Good Bird: But Speedy.. Speedy: (shouting) We have to! I want respect! I want victory! It's time we crawled out of our holes and become FOOTBALL PLAYERS! REAL GUYS! (The entire school stares at Speedy standing courageously) Good Bird: (whispering loudly) Speedy....stop drawing attention to us.... Speedy: Ah......I beleive the bell has rung! N: And that was the real bell this time round. All the students move into the school in busy chatter. Francine is approching Speedy as he's unpacking his things into his new locker.... Francine:(sounding proffesional) Good morning Speedy! And how was your holiday? Speedy: (Not paying attention) Just fine... Francine: Oh that's good, say do you happen to be having english class today? Speedy: I told you just fine..... Francine: Speedy are you even listening to me? Speedy: Sure! Take a turn to the left and down the hall. You can't miss it.... Francine: (unimpressed) Okay well I guess I'll leave you to your locker then. By the way I hope you will be attending the "Womans rights movement" debate on Saturday. I'll be the main speaker! Speedy: (collecting his things) Listen I have to get to Home ec class, I'll see you later Sharlene... Francine: It's Francine.. Speedy: Oh okay, bye! (runs off) Francine:(looking up to the ceiling) What will it take for him to notice I'm even alive Lord! Is it my breath? N: Well she's always had a problem with that. Close by.... Guido: (holding a freshman by the collar of his jacket) When I say give me your money, you give me your MONEY! I don't like it when people say no to me! They become missing persons! Bat Cat: (teasing) Yeah! So you better be nice and share a little bit! We couldn't care if your mummy's going to be mad... Freshman: But she will! Guido and Bat Cat: OH BOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA! Freshman: Please don't kill me! Guido: (looking in the nerds locker) Well if you throw in that walkman we could make some sort of deal.... Freshman: (giving him what he wants) Go ahead! Take it take ALL! (runs away screaming) AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Bat Cat: (shouting out to him) AND IF YOU SQUEAL WE WILL KICK YOUR FRESHIE BUTT ALL THE WAY TO ARGENTINA! Guido: (stealing things out of the nerds locker) You know, this job's just getting too easy. (looking over his shoulder, suddenly wide-eyed) Well look who just came my way! Polly: Save it for someone who cares. (keeps walking) Gudio: (follows her) C'mon Polly! Why do you keep pushing me away?! You know your dying for me to take you to Conny's. Your crazy about me..admitt it.. Polly: For the last time stupid NO! Not after what happened last year you two timing S.O.B! Guido: (slides in front of her) I said I was sorry babe, what more can I do? Polly: You can stop hanging around me like a bad smell for one thing Anchovie!! (shuvs him out of her way) Guido: Well, who are you taking then? Polly: It just so happens I'm taking.....well...no one, right now. But I'll find someone! Some guy who's ten times better then the date you ever were you rotting meat ball! (going into a class room) Bat Cat: Meat joke. Man that's cold. What happened last year? Guido: Don't you remember I asked her out last summer? Bat Cat: (remembers) Oh yeah! Then after you got her totally inlove with you, you ditched her for that other chick! Guido: It was an honest mistake, I'm only feline! She'll end up going with me you'll see.. Bat Cat: Hey we are like 15 minutes late for class! Guido: Who needs class! Let's go smoke in toilets. Bat Cat: Whatever. (Guido and Bat Cat pass the Bulletin Board on the way) Guido:(reading a notice) What the hell is this snot?!! Bat Cat: What are you going on about now? Gudio: Look at this! Cerviche is joining the football team!!! That little geek is moving in on my territory?!! How dare he attempt to be DIFFERENT!! I'll crush him into a cube..... Bat Cat: (reading the notice) Looks like that idiot Good Bird is also in on it. Bummer. Guido: Okay, that's all I can stand! We got to get rid of them some how, you and me! I'm so sick to death of NERDS! They just keep breeding and breeding... Bat Cat: Whatever... N: Will Speedy the nerd be alive by part two? Will Francine get Speedy's attention? Who does Luciel want to take to the dance? Will Polly forgive Guido? Can you believe they even liked eachother once and were thinking of dating?!! Who knew Guido could even get a date or play football?! Will Batcat stop saying "whatever"? Will I move to the Discovery Channel?!!!! Can you even see how they became Pizza CAT'S!!? All this and more in Part Two of "Before They Made Pizza."