N: We now return to part two. (annoyed) OH! I hate TWO PART STORIES!! Can't writers just whip up a three minute episode or something! Oh well, we come to the security control room where Guido and Polly have been sitting ducks for the last half hour... Guido:(Looking at the TV monitors in the security room) You can see every room in the Palace from here! Polly: (Of the subject) That Speedy is so DEAD!! I'LL GRIND HIS BONES INTO SAND!! Guido:(gulp) He probably just went to the toilet or something, he'll be back. What's the matter Polly you miss him?(smiling) Polly:(red) You are so immature sometimes... "KNOCK KNOCK" Guido: It's for you. Polly:(sighing) It's probably Al just checking up on us. (Polly opens the door) Speedy: WOOOOOOOOOOOO those stairs! They HICK UP! just keep going up and HICK UP! up and up and HICK UP! up and............... Guido: That's funny, Al looks alot like Speedy.... Polly: (cross) SPEEDY! Where have you been! Checking out girls no doubt you slacker! Prepare for the frying pan beating of a life TIME.......!! Speedy: Guido HICK UP! nice to HICK UP! see you (pat's Polly on the back) Polly: (with an odd face) Speedy you bonehead stop playing games! I'm Polly! Speedy: (looks at Guido) And Polly HICK UP! darling have you lost weight? I told you that milkshake diet HICK UP! would work in no time! HICK UP! (hugs him) Guido:(scared) Speedy get of me! And don't call me Polly what an insult! Polly:(shocked) Why I outta..! Speedy: Well go ahead and just HICK UP hurt my HICK UP! feelings like that and shout HICK UP! at me for no good HICK UP reason. You guys are so cruel..HICK UP! Guido:(looking worried) Ah Polly come and look at this.. Polly: A garbage bag full of alcohol! Speedy you didn't...... Speedy: (dazed) Helloooooooooooo sky!! Guido: Polly when big Al finds out Speedy got drunk we're all going to get fired! Polly:(mad) Speedy your so selfish not once did you think how much trouble we are all going to get in! Speedy: Listen Guido HICK UP!(looking at Polly) You take this red bottle HICK UP! as a present from me since I love HICK UP! to heal the world! Now I'm going to HICK UP! check outside for the Germans.... Guido and Polly:(looking at eachother) Germans? Guido: Hey where did he go? Polly: He left? NO! Guido: Damn Speedy! His only weaknesses are alcohol and "Josie and the Pussycats!!" (Polly opens the red bottle Speedy gave her) Polly: Smells like tar, but still kind of tempting.... Guido: Now Polly maybe you shouldn't, we don't know what's in there! It could be poison or cat pee! You remember what happened in that episode when you drank that mysterious drink and wound up in Egypt?? Polly: (annoyed) Yes I remember moron! Maybe just a little sip.. N: I guess we will find out later what happened with them. For now let's go back to the center stage. And yes ladies and gentlemen, Princess Vi's speech is still going........... Vi:(extremely cheery) And I would also like to mention that we will be serving macadamia nuts that have not been dipped in salt for health reasons since it causes high blood pressure which is bad for you and that's not good! Crowd: *YAWN* Vi: Also on the menu tonight we have Seymour Cheese's strawberry punch and... BC:(standing up) The finest and most delicious punch that you will ever have the chance to experience! Vi:(mad) SIT DOWN!!!!!! BC: (Gulp)! Vi: Anyway you can all go and taste it now if you like since I am ending my speech... Crowd: YAY! N: YAY! Vi: (fed up) WELL FINE! Just make sure you try the drinks or your going to Prisoner Island THE LOT OF YOU! Vi's servant: Ah your hinas......if I may.. Vi: WHAT I'm trying to be good hostess! Vi's servant: All the wine and champagne has well, disappeared..... Speedy:(singing) "28 bottles of beer on the wall, 28 bottles of beer!" La la la la la.......I wonder what HICK UP! comes after the letter 28? N: Speedy who is now extremely drunk and braindead has magically made his way to the entrance of the Palace where he thinks the Germans are centering their attack! At the moment he is staring at his reflection in the lake. Speedy: Hey! I think I found my TWIN! N: (depressed) I can't believe you get paid more then I do... Speedy: I must protect HICK UP! the Palace from horrid war!! No one HICK UP! will enter this Palace without HICK UP! a password!! N: Near by a guest is running late for the Ball... Luciel: (jogging) I hope they waited for me I just can't stand it when I miss the beginning of a birthday party! N: Luciel this is not a....oh nevermind. Speedy: WHO, HICK UP! GOES THERE! Luciel: (cheery) Speedy is that you? I thought it was you! Speedy: So, Hitler HICK UP! you thought you could get past me...HICK UP! well I just HICK UP! want to let you know HICK UP! that I will not stand for it! And you can HICK UP! take your German woop woop back to whatever HICK UP! country Germans come from. Is it France? Luciel: (confused) Speedy your not making any sense and you know I get emotional when people try to scare me. I'm sorry I'm late for the birthday party but I couldn't decide which sandals matched my dress so if you would just let me go in now..... Speedy: I don't HICK UP! think so! What's in the box HICK UP! Luciel: (excited) Well don't tell but I got Princess Vi a new dust buster! Speedy: NO!(Grabs her by the arm) Luciel: (scared) Ah! Speedy don't hurt please! Speedy: It's a bomb isn't HICK UP! it! You slimy fish you! Luciel: I just hate seafood, why the thought just makes me want to..... KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (missiles dart up and down from Luciel's hair do) Speedy: (panicky) THE GERMANS ARE,HICK UP! ATTACKING! WARN THE NATION! WOMAN AND, HICK UP! CHILDREN FIRST! ( A missile heads straight for Speedy's head causing him to fall in the lake, and he's to drunk to realise the drowning could be doom) Luciel:(looking into the water for a sign of Speedy) Speedy? Oh no I killed Speedy!.... And I smudged my lipstick! N: What a bummer..... (Still no sign of Speedy...) Luciel: I'm a murderer! A MURDERER! A....... Al: Are you okay Luciel? We heard an explosion! We came to investigate.. (Al appears out of the entrance with a group of curious guests with Princess Vi, Fred, Big cheese and Jerry Attric.) Luciel: What? N: This would be a good time to mention Speedy is drowning! Al: (alarmed) What's that! Speedy is drowning! QUICK, we have to rescue him! (Everyone stares at Al) BC: I'm not getting wet for that pizza puff ball! Jerry: Ditto. Vi: And I'm to important to rescue anyone! Fred: FAR-RAD! Al: I'm suprised at you people! When a good friend is in trouble you..... Luciel: (upset) JUST SAVE HIM! He could be dying as you speak and I love him! I couldn't live with myself if died! Oh by the way here's you present Princess Vi! It's a new dust buster! Happy Birthday! Vi: (puzzled) Huh? Al: Wait, look! Something's coming up to the surface........... N: On lighter terms Francine is still spending valuable time as a penguin and loving it right? Fran: I hate my life! And stop calling me a bird! N: Penguin. Fran: My life is OVER! Oh where is my knight in shining armor? N: Could we make this show more corny! It's enough that Speedy makes jokes, sheesh! By the way Francine you don't look so good...you sick? Fran: I'm having a romantic musical fantasy in my brain you S.O.B! It stars me as the tragically inlove maiden who falls for prince charming.. N: Sounds like a tragic snooze. Fran:(giggling) I bet you can't guess who prince charming is? N: Let me guess...........Speedy? Fran:(insulted) What!? N: No wait I got it....It's Al! Fran: (really insulted) Al! What planet are you from it's Bucky! N: I bet it's Guido.... Fran: THAT'S IT! I'm not speaking to you anymore. N: Why not? Fran: I can't tell you I'm not speaking to you.... Luciel: (suddenly bounds infront of Francine crying her eyes out) FRANCINE! Oh Francine I'm a terrible person I deserve to be DEAD! Fran: (depressed) Why are YOU so upset? Luciel: Well you've certainly missed a bundle of news. Did you know somebody spiked the punch! Fran: (not listening) Really.... Luciel: And Princess Vi is not very happy! Half the guests are drunk and left the party. It's quite the scandal! Fran: No kidding? That snob deserves her party to be ruined, maybe next year she will remember to invite the stars of the show. N: I agree! How dare she forget to invite me, Speedy, Polly and Guido! Fran: (mad) grrrrrr! Lucial: Oh and Speedy kinda fell in the lake a while ago and ..... Fran: WHAT! Speedy fell in the lake! Speedy can't swim! Did he drown? Is he dead? Oh God TELL ME LUCIEL I CAN TAKE IT!!!! Luciel: AHHH! Francine your scaring me!! He's in the hospital asleep..... Fran: Asleep? Luciel: Asleep, unconscious I can never tell the difference, but he's drooling alot! Fran: Oh God.....(Begins to cry) Luciel: (crying as well) I'm worried too! Oh what if...... Fran: What if.......quick! To the hospital! Narrator: Unfortunately, they forget to inform Polly and Guido about the tragic news. Infact those two were busy with that love poison anyway.... Son: Too bad most of the guests left... N: (annoyed) Oh great you two! Didn't I mention that we had enough corny humor!? Writers never listen to actors... Son: Well we're funnier then you anyway! And we are much cuter as well. Right Ma? Mama-sun:(frantic) Is this where I meet the Queen Junior? Son: Ignore her, she's drunk. N: Isn't everybody? Mother: (nervous) Quick Junior, my shoe is after me...! Son: But it's on your foot Ma.. Mother: That's what it wants you to think! Son: I told you to stop after the tenth glass, I think you need to sit down over here (points to the Control room) Mother: (confused) Okay, but it's sounds like a wrestling match going on in there. Junior why are there people wrestling in the control room? Son: I saw Polly and Guido go up there, maybe their fighting? Mother: (shocked) I don't think their fighting son... Son: What else could they be doing Ma? Mother:(giggling) Wait until I spread this piece of gossip around town! Son: Please tell me what their doing it's not fair that you shut me out all the time! Mother: I'll tell you when you can grow a mustache! Son: (confused) huh? N: Let's just get away from these two as quick as possible before my eyes begin to hurt! We may as well check out the hospital since that's far away enough. Did you even know Little Tokyo had a hospital? Well, you learn something everyday! (Speedy lays in a hospital bed with everyone crowding round him) Francine: (hovering over Speedy) Oh Luciel, he looks so lifeless! *SOB* Luciel:(sobbing) Can I borrow your hanky Francine? Francine: (with sympathy) Here.. (Luciel blows a pile of snot into Francine's hanky) Luciel:(passing it back) Here you go. Francine: (looking sick) Keep it.. Big Cheese:(whispering) Jerry, pull the plug! I really don't want this one to come back! Is he the cat with that magic sword thinga-ma-jig? Jerry: (bored) Yes. He's also the reason for our budget problems lately and why you haven't been able to buy as many shoes as you use to. BC: (anxious) Well what are you waiting for pull that PLUG! (Jerry pulls the plug secretly) BC:(looking at Speedy's heart rate monitor) Nothings happening....his heart isn't stopping! Jerry: Ah..Cheesy? BC: (cross) What?! Jerry: I think I pulled the wrong plug.... BC:(whispering loudly) What do you mean you pulled the wrong plug!? HOW many plugs are there to this life support CONTRAPTION?? Jerry:(whispering) I think I pulled the Hoover plug... BC: The what?!! Jerry: The vacuum.... BC: (angry) YOU TWIT!! Al: Hey everyone I think he's waking up.. (Speedy's eyes pop open suddenly and everyone freezes) Speedy:(scared) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone:(startled) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPEEDY? Speedy:(confused) Where am I? Hey! This isn't the California swim-suit competition? Francine: (throwing her arms up in the air) HE'S ALIVE! (Everyone cheers!! YAY!!!!!) Speedy: (dumfounded) What happened to me, my head is spinning... Al: You were in a coma for 25 minuets! Luciel: You lost 1.3% of your brain. Fran: Too bad you only had that much to begin with....! Everyone:(histerical) AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Speedy:(tired) Oh put me back to sleep! I wanna go back to California.. N: Uh-oh, don't look now but here the thundering foot steps of a spoilt little brat coming your way Speedy! Vi: (Furious) SPEEDY YOU CROOK! ADMIT IT! YOU STOLE MY ALL THOSE DRINKS FROM ME WITHOUT PERMISSION! I SHOULD DRAG YOUR TAIL ALL THE WAY TO PRISONER ISLAND!!! COMA OR NO COMA!! YOU RUINED MY PARTY!!!!!! Al: Princess Vi where did you go? Vi: Munchies.....(holds up a bag of potato chips) Anyway AS I WAS YELLING!! YOU'LL BE IN A WHEELCHAIR AND A COMA WHEN I PUT YOU ON PRISONER ISLAND CERVICHE! But....your lucky cause I'm not going to. Everyone: (Astonished) HUH??????!!!!!!!!! N: Has the world TOPSY TURVY? Princess Vi is showing signs of SYMPATHY!!!? Speedy:(who hasn't realised what the Princess just said) PLEASE Princess HAVE MERCY! I swear I didn't mean to do it! I was DISTURBED and UPSET! I needed substance, I needed drink, MY DOG ATE IT!!! Fran:(giving him a funny look) Your dog ate it? Speedy:(confused) I don't know where that excuse came from... Al: Calm down Speedy, Princess Vi just said she's not sending you to Prisoner Island. Speedy:(relived) SHE'S NOT!? OH THANKYOU PRINCESS, thankyou thankyou thankyou.. Vi: (interrupting) SILENCE! That's right Speedy. I'm to happy to charge punishment to anyone. So, I'd like to take this opportunity to announce........ my ENGAGEMENT!!!!(holds up a shiny ring on her finger) Everyone:(once again astonished) HUH????????!!!!!!!!! Fran: To whom Princess? Vi:(dreamy) Oh just the most WONDERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD!! Well actually he's not exactly a man more of a deer. His name is Bucky and we're so inlove!!! HEHE! I met him a few months ago at water-colour classes and we just clicked!! Fran: (blank) ****** Speedy: Fran, are you okay? You want to vomit or something??? Fran:(pale) No...ah...Speedy I'll just..um.. go home and..jump of the roof of my house......(faints onto the floor) Luciel: (frantic) Somebody get the Nurse......hurry! N: As it turns out, Vi wasn't completely sure if Speedy was the culprit. After all, Big Cheese was the one who made the punch and we all know about his reputation. So there was only one way to find out who spiked the punch.... Vi: TO THE NEW SECURITY CONTROL ROOM!!!!!!!!! And that means you too Speedy! Speedy: (cranky) Ah Crap....! (Cut to Control Room scene) Speedy: (Knocking on the Control room door) Guys! Hellooo! It's me! Speedy! I've just been in a coma! Does anybody CARE!?? (Mama-sun appears out of the shadow in the corner) Speedy: Oh it's you, what are you so happy about..? Mama-sun: (giggling) Their to busy to answer the door...!! Vi: (In the distance) SPEEDY!! HURRY UP!!! IT'S COLD HERE!!!! Speedy: (To mama-sun) What are you laughing at?... (Mama-sun whispers something in Speedy's ear and then runs of chuckling. Speedy looks like he's just seen a ghost) Francine: (Running up to Speedy) What's taking so long Speedy? You want to give Princess Vi a nose bleed??!! Speedy: (Listening to the noises inside) Francine!...Guido and Polly are, well ah....doing something...BAD!! Francine: (Uninterested) Oh! Speedy I don't have time!! I'll just break the door down myself!! Speedy: (uncomfortable) But FRAN....! Their...THEIR..doing "it"! Fran: Yes I saw the movie "It"... Speedy: NO! Not the movie "IT"! Your not listening to ME! Fran: QUIET SPEEDY!! I have to concentrate... ( After numerous blows to the door, Francine manages to knock it down. Everyone searches inside for Guido and Polly. Speedy looks extremely nervous.) Speedy: Oh God I hope their really not... Polly: (behind the door) JUST GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!! Speedy: (mortified) Polly?! Guido?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?? Guido: (angry) Well she started it!! I've been trying to wrestle that bottle of her for AGES! She's turning into a compulsive alcoholic!! Polly: I just wanted to look at the LABEL!! Guido: It doesn't HAVE A LABEL!!! Polly: (off the subject) Why? What did you think we were doing Speedy? Speedy: (Embarrassed) Oh nevermind, nevermind! Hehe, it just sounded...like...well..I don't know..you were......taking your clothes off or something crazy... Polly, Guido: (confused) WHAT!!??? Speedy: NOTHING! There was just a little confusion spreading...forget it! Guido: Clothes off?! What do you mean?!! Polly: Did your brain take a VACATION!!?? Speedy: You could put that way I guess... N: Lets hope its a permanent vacation. Al: (looking at the drink in Polly's hand) I hope you weren't really drinking that Polly....I don't need another Pizza Cat drunk tonight.. Guido: Don't worry Al, I didn't give her the chance!! Polly: (mad) YOU TATTLETALE!! Vi: (Changing the subject to suit her) WHO CARES!! All I want to do is see tonight's security tape and go home and have a BUBBLE-BATH!! N: As Vi wishes, Polly and Guido play a recording of the tape. The previous scene is when Speedy, who is extremely drunk and is stealing all the beverages, and spiking the punch. It's ironic how Big Cheese wasn't guilty this time. However, Vi is more curious about who the strange fat shadow is in the corner... Vi: Who's the strange fat shadow in the corner?! N: (To himself) Are you DEAF! I just said that!! Speedy: (Thinking) I can't really remember, I think he gave me that drink though...(looking at the red bottle) Polly: But Speedy, you gave this to me when you were out of your mind!! Speedy: I know, that was just before I fell in the lake and went into a coma.. Polly: (Puzzled) HUH?!! I'm so confused... Speedy: Trust me, I tell you later...! Vi: (mad) Well whatever that shadow is it wasn't invited! Therefore is invading on private property! Therefore must be sent to PRISONER ISLAND!! Al: (squinting at the screen) It's too dark to see. I guess we will never know... (Somewhere in the distance...) Guru: (Walking around in the dark) What a night!! And not one single girl! I never even got to test the stupid love potion to see if it worked! Worst party I've ever been to! And why can't I get a cab HOME!!!!!(signaling to passing taxies) N: Is he kidding? You have a better chance of being hit by lightning then getting a cab on the weekend! And now we come to the end of our show once again! The Pizza Cat's got to spend the night at the Palace and got to enjoy all kinds of luxuries......except Speedy, Vi punished him for spiking the punch and simply sent him home! Speedy: (At his house, lying across his couch in misery) Revenge........! N: Ah hell, here we go again....at least he'll have a hangover in the morning.. THE END